Scott Barton, my very first SON via Marriage!

So, I have posted two entries in honor of my firstborn. Now, it is time to share my love and pay tribute to my FIRST SON to capture my heart via his marrying Bonnie! Scott has been such a sweetheart from the very beginning! He captured all of our hearts so very effortlessly! He has such a gentle and calming disposition.

Bonnie, however, can be extremely high-strung.

Before Bonnie and Scott were to be married, I just had to level with Scott. I pulled him aside and I said, "Scott, I know you will not believe anything I am about to share with you, and that is OK. BUT, I do NOT want you coming back to me in a few months, upset that I did not ever at least TRY to warn you!" Scott looked at me a bit puzzled, but was polite enough to just listen as I continued. "Scott," I said, " I have lived with Bonnie for over 19 years now, and I love her with all my heart. BUT, she is NOT always the easiest person to live with. She has a hot temper and she is as stubborn as all get out....!" I explained that she was the ultimate "strong-willed" child and that she had not ever out-grown that strong-willed personality. I honestly do not know all that I did tell Scott. I am not even sure exactly HOW I said it all. But, I could see in his face, that he did not believe a word I was saying.

Now, I was NOT trying to change his mind, nor was I trying to stab my daughter in the back. I just KNEW that one day, after Scott had actually lived with Bonnie for a period of time, IF I did NOT forewarn him, he might just carry some resentment toward me.

When I had married, Gary's family would not accept me. I was a "Mormon" and they believed that I belonged to a cult. I tried to explain that the correct name for my church was, "THE CHURCH OF JESUS CHRIST OF LATTER-DAY SAINTS!" I said, "How can ANYONE believe that we are NOT Christians, when our church is named after Jesus Christ???" But, they were Catholic and were not at all open to their son marrying out of his faith. This was in spite of the fact that a full two years prior to Gary even meeting me, he had, of his own free will and choice, forsaken his church and joined the "MORMON" church! But, Gary's parents stated that if he had not married me, he would have given up his fling with my church and returned to Catholicism.

I wish I had listened to them! As it turned out, many years into our marriage, Gary did become disenfranchised with my religion and became an agnostic! That along with many other issues, (his abusive behavior towards our children and me being paramount) ended our union. Why do I mention this here? Well, over the 21 years I was married, I endured some of the WORST treatment from Gary's parents first, and then from Gary. I had always cared most about family relationships and had done everything I knew how, to find a way into their hearts. I just wanted them to love me and accept me like I loved and accepted them. But, it was never to be.

So, when it was time for me to become a "mother-in-law" I just wanted to be everything I had wanted, but never had! I wanted Scott to feel loved and accepted. I did feel I had to level with him and tell him what he may not have wanted to hear. In my mind, he deserved full disclosure.

Well, Bonnie and Scott were married April 13, 2002 in Mesquite, Nevada. I was still in the middle of my horrendous divorce, and so, they returned to Minnesota in June and moved west, to Garland, Utah with their 10 siblings and me.

Scott and Bonnie drove Scott's pride and joy of a car out, following me in a rented U-Haul truck. We were driving through Montana when Scott told me that his car was over-heating! He told me that the gauge was at the H!!! But, being the idiot I am, and thinking that we were NOT that far from Billings, where we could get help for whatever was ailing his car; I told Scott we would just continue on to Billings! I do not remember how many more miles that I forced his doomed, overheating vehicle to travel, but, suffice it to say, I am the reason his prized car bit the dust.

We did make it to Billings, and pulled into a bank parking lot. I think I was trying to get some cash for gas. Anyway, while stopped, all of the sudden, smoke came billowing out of Scott's engine, and, the very next instant, fire started to consume the engine. Bonnie, Scott and the children driving with them, jumped out of the car, escaping the inferno just in the nick of time. I just stared at the scene in total disbelief! I was horrified that I had caused Scott to lose his favorite car. What an entrance into the family! ALL my plans to show love and make him feel welcome and happy to be a part of our family, flushed away as the fire trucks flooded the area in an attempt to contain the blaze.

I do not think I will ever forgive myself for that major misjudgement, that horrible mistake!

And yet, Scott has NEVER once mentioned the loss of that car to me! He has never been anything but kind and loving and sweet and supportive! I just am amazed at the man he is! And, I love him more and more dearly with each passing year! He truly is one of my own! Mercifully, I was spared the pregnancy, labor and delivery of adding him to our family! But, I would have gladly endured anything to have him be a part of our family! (Of course, IF I had given birth to him, he could never have married Bonnie....) Anyway, I just love him to pieces!

And, after he had been married to Bonnie for a year or so, I did take him aside and I asked him, "Scott, do you remember just before you married Bonnie, I tried to warn you that Bonnie was not the easiest to live with?" He shook his head in the affirmative! I then asked him, "But, you did NOT believe me, did you Scott?" This time he said, "No, I did not believe you!" I said, "But, you believe me now don't you!!!" He just smiled! I said, "Well, sweetheart, at least I did try to tell you, right!?!?" He again smiled and shook his head! Since both Scott and I love Bonnie completely, and she is such an amazing woman, it is easy to overlook those moments that she can be difficult. I mean really, aren't we all difficult to live with at times???

Now, this week I have just learned that Bonnie and Scott are expecting their very first baby. They have 6 years of marriage under their belts, so to speak, and I am so very excited for them. I know that they will be as awesome as parents, as they have been as a couple. I have loved watching them care, love and support one another. They have made each other, their priority and I am so very proud of their choices and their successes!

Scott wrote in my Mother's Day card this year, " I want you to know you are the perfect Mom and you deserve a day for just you!! Can't wait to see you and hope you have the best Mother's Day! Love, Scott! In the same card, Bonnie wrote, " I hope you know how much you mean to me and Scott! You have always been there for us, you always give all you have and often even more than you have. You are an amazing Mom! No matter how bad life gets, no matter what you are called to endure, you've never left, you never have forgotten or given up your children. We've always come first, and you've always put yourself last....I hope you realize today what a wonderful mother you are and how much you have accomplished!..."She says more, and of course, Bonnie and Scott, your kind words of love and support meant the world to me and reduced me to tears---for quite sometime! I have been so very blessed to have such wonderful children! I am the mother of many, and the recipient of many, many blessings because my children are so amazing! Scott, I love you son! You are mine, forever!