Well, this was my 26th Mother's Day! I remember so very well, the pregnancy, labor and delivery of my firstborn! Bonnie Kae entered the world just a little after 11 pm on March 28th, 1982. I was so excited that she would forever share the Prophet, President Spencer W. Kimball's birthday! He was my favorite Prophet! And, now my daughter was born on his very birthday!
My introduction to the joys of pregnancy, however, was less than joyful! At first, the pain was so intense, the doctor thought I might actually be experiencing a tubal pregnancy. What a blessing that was NOT the case. The months of lying on the couch and vomiting and retching was not what I had expected at all. I had heard of all the typical cravings and yet, I could not even think about food without an overwhelming attack of nausea, followed swiftly by vomiting! I wondered if I really could endure the agony, but, the day that I heard my baby's heartbeat and then later, feeling the baby move within me--well, all the suffering was so very worth it! I was not anxious to repeat the experience, but, I knew that all I had gone through was so very worth it all. I could not wait until the day I would be able to hold, love and snuggle my baby! I had been babysitting for well over a dozen years, and I was so very excited for my turn to have a baby that would call me MaMa, would reach for, smile and coo for me, and I would not have to give back to it's mother!
I am embarrassed to admit that I did some bargaining with the Lord! I reminded Him that unlike many of my friends that were also experiencing their first pregnancies, I was the ONLY ONE of the group that had suffered the morning sickness all morning, noon and night! (I thought it was very deceptive to term it "morning sickness" when, for me, it was all day and long into the night!) Additionally, where most were able to feel so much better after their first trimester, I suffered with the nausea and vomiting well into my third trimester! (in fact, I vomited on my way to the hospital to give BIRTH!!!) So, given these facts, I just told the Lord, I deserved to have an easy labor and delivery! (Like I had the power to alter how things in my life occurred by reasoning with the Lord!!!) Yet, I was blessed to have a "text-book" labor and delivery. It was not inordinately long, nor was it unbearably, incredibly painful. So, perhaps that is what led to my belief that I actually could successfully bargain with the Lord!
Anyway, the moment I was able to hold Bonnie for the first time, I was overwhelmed with the greatest joy I have ever experienced---( the only other times I had experienced that type of joy being the other 10 times my precious babies were placed in my arms! ) I had always known that I wanted, first and foremost, to be the most loving wife and then the best mother ever! I had not fit in well in "the world," but, with that amazing baby girl, I finally felt I had discovered my passion in life! Being a Mother was just that! My passion!
I made many mistakes as I learned how to be a mother. ( Actually, I am STILL learning how to be a good mother!) I cringe to this day at some of my more colossal mistakes! I can not even believe that my children---but Bonnie in particular---could really ever forgive and still somehow find it in their hearts to love me! Bonnie not only opened the matrix, but, she opened my heart, mind and soul to what mothering really was, and how very tender and precious a mother/child bond can be. I was willing to do any and everything for her, I would have given my life to protect her and provide for her. I learned early on, though, that children do not really care how we go about our roles as parents, as long as they know we are willing to admit when we get it wrong and if we do all we do, with LOVE. They do not want us to give our lives, they just want us to give them our lives, as in a lifetime of loving and caring!
Today, Bonnie is 26 years old. She is no longer just my firstborn daughter, but, she is my very best friend! I love her on so many different levels! Fortunately, I can not imagine life without her, and I am praying I will never ever have to be without her in my life! She provides me with encouragement, comfort and support. She is the most beautiful young lady I have ever known, bar none! (well, OK, she shares that distinction with all her sisters!) She is the most dependable, reliable, hard-working, independent, resourceful, talented, clean, intelligent, compassionate, tenacious, loyal, honest, strong, articulate, and faith-filled young lady! Whenever there is a need, she will discover it and do all in her power to provide! She calls me to seek us to gather as a family and pray for her, when she has a need. She will give the shirt off her back to someone in need, she will do infinitely more for any member of her family. She has never ever been selfish. I have been able to count on her to assist me in every way to care for all of her siblings! I am in awe of all she has become and the beautiful woman she has always been.
I know this is a very personal post, but, I would like to, over the next week (in honor of those beautiful children that have made it possible for me to be a mother!) share experiences that I cherish about each one of my children.
I thank my Heavenly Father with all that I have, that HE was willing to bless me by entrusting me with the care and nurture of truly, the most amazing spirits that I have ever had the opportunity to get to know. Thank Goodness for my own mother that has given me such a great example in so many ways! I would have no idea how to be a mother if I had not had such an awesome mother myself!
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