Christopher Michael Hildebrandt--NOPE--RANDOM MUSINGS

It just occurred to me that relating stories about each of my children, and posting tributes to them might be a very dangerous venture. I am reminded of a time when I had just 4 little ones. I had heard a mother say that she had taken each of her children aside, individually and secretively told them that that particular child was HER FAVORITE! She told each of her children this, and it had made them all feel so very special! In my zeal to try out new ideas and be the perfect mother, I decided to do the same. Colleen, my fourth child was just an infant, so, I began, as I have always done everything---"littlest to biggest" I took Kathryn aside and told her she was MY FAVORITE! The most amazing thing happened at that point, BEFORE I could even get to Christopher and Bonnie, to tell them the same thing, Kathryn had already proudly announced to them, that I had just told her, she was MY FAVORITE!!! I was devastated! What to do NOW??? Well, the damage was done, there was NOTHING I COULD DO! Bonnie and Christopher never would hear the same words from me and believe me.


I had learned a very hard, sad lesson. Not everything you hear, should you actually TRY or DO

I learned that often, prior to implementing any new "advice" or suggestions, the critical next step is to PRAY and seek inspiration! Heavenly Father has NEVER let me down when I have sought HIS advice as to what would be best to say or do for my children.

(Well, just as I was in the middle of creating this post, a dear friend commented about my post for Scott! He mentioned that perhaps it would NOT be the easiest thing for Bonnie to read what I had written! DARN! I have blown it again! I did hurt Bonnie's feelings. I am so very sorry Bonnie! I will try harder to be much more sensitive, kind and discerning. Please forgive my blunder. I did NOT ever mean to hurt you! So much for my remembering to seek for inspiration! I will pause now to pray about this one!!!)

( This was written prior to the blunder!!!)
Anyway, I am hoping against hope, that this idea of highlighting each of my children does not backfire and I live to regret, or my children live to regret my posts! I do love each of my 13 children and my new grand-daughter with all of my heart and though I love them individually for their uniqueness and their amazingly distinct personalities, I do not love any ONE more than ANOTHER! I know at this point, ALL my children will mention that it appears that I do NOT love ADAM! But, actually, I do. I will have to admit that for whatever reason, he is the one child I have struggled the most with raising. But, my love is just as deep, even though it has been much less visible! Isn't that tragic! I pray daily that I can be a much better mother to all my children, but to Adam in particular---since I do struggle so with him.

Well, back to Christopher! Christopher arrived January 10, 1985. He was born in Detroit at Grace Hospital. I started into labor early in the afternoon. We went to the hospital around 1-2 pm and began walking the halls. When walking was no longer comfortable, we began playing a game, "Crossing the Plains" a game all about the Mormon exodus west to the Rocky Mountains. I remember having a great time playing, and during the game, my nurse came in, watched us play for a time and said, " Kim, you are having too much fun and seem far too comfortable to really be in labor!" Just a few hours later, I proved to truly be in labor, and Christopher was born just after 6 pm.!

I remember the tears of joy that came as I first held my beautiful, blue baby boy! He was so very blue! The cyanosis actually was so scary! They gave Christopher oxygen and eventually, he lost that cyanotic coloring. During the labor and delivery, I was so amazed at the peace and the joy that I experienced. I was not sure why there was such a difference, I thought perhaps it was just that the second time around, the fear and all the horrors of the unknown are no longer issues. But, in hindsight, after now having experienced 11 labors and deliveries, I know it was much more than that. Then, when Christopher went to Patriarch James White for his Patriarchal Blessing just after moving here to Utah, I learned why there had been such a huge difference during Christopher's labor and delivery. In his blessing, he was told that Heavenly Father was present at his birth. As I heard that, the spirit testified to me of that truth. And, I reflected again upon the feelings I had had of such peace and joy, and I knew that was due to Heavenly Father's presence, of that I have no doubt.


Christopher has always had a special connection with the Spirit, with our Heavenly Father. We learned early on, that if we were in a crisis, the best way to access divine assistance was to have Christopher pray! His prayers seemed to be immediately answered!


Growing up, Christopher was a mellow and happy little fellow. He was kind to his sisters and he was active and alert. He loved the outdoors and had a wonderful imagination. He loved to climb trees and to build with Lego.

One of my favorite things to do with my children while we lived in Ann Arbor and Ypsilanti Michigan, was to go to the Toledo Zoo! It was a circular zoo, which was just perfect for little children and their moms! Unlike the Detroit Zoo, which is linear, and takes foever to get from one animal to the next---Toledo Zoo is a circular zoo! And, each animal exhibit is just a short distance from the next! You can actually see the next animal as you are viewing the one in front of you! But, at the Detroit Zoo (of course this is the way it was over 12 years ago, perhaps they have made changes by now...) you would walk and walk and walk and it seemed you would never get to the next animal exhibit! How I miss being able to take my children to the Zoo as frequently out here in Utah. I will have to make that a priority---recommitting to going places and seeing things with my children. It came naturally as I home-schooled. We just were always going places and seeing things to stimulate their minds. Now that I have been forced into the public school system, it has been so much harder to just take a day and go. My, this was a random paragraph---sorry Christopher, I guess I should get back to talking about you!! But, you loved the Toledo Zoo almost as much as I did, I think!

You know, scratch this, I will start over for Christopher's post! Let's just call this random musings and leave it at that! It has been a very difficult day for me and I think I need a time-out! Sorry, Christopher, I will try this again tomorrow!