Memories of Earlier Days as a Nurse

I just received the following (please see the poem below) as an email forward. I decided I would share it via my blog. It brought back to me so many memories....being a nurse and working at several different facilities with the elderly. May I just share a few of those memories now? The first time I encountered the elderly in a health care setting, I was in the midst of my nursing training. This was over 30 years ago! At that time, there were LPN's and RN's providing patient care. The LPN's provided all the bathing, the wound care, the range of motion exercises and assisted with all the activities of daily living. The RN's provided supervision and the medications---although, as an LPN, I too, could distribute medications to my patients. We did NOT have CNA's at this point, but, we did have ORDERLIES! These were men that would do the heavy lifting and transfers and assist the nursing staff with all the more manual and/or physical labor.

As I said, I was in the midst of my nursing training, I was working at our small town's hospital, in Sylva, North Carolina. I was walking in the hallway, and I heard the following exchange:

Elderly Gentleman to the Orderly: "Please, Please, can you take me to the restroom?"
Orderly to the Elderly Gentleman/Patient: "I just took you not too long ago! YOU DO NOT NEED TO GO AGAIN!"
Elderly Gentleman: "Yes, I am afraid I do need to go again!"
Orderly: "Well, YOU ARE JUST GOING TO HAVE TO WAIT!"

The orderly was by this time, really upset, was fairly shouting at the patient and briskly walked away. I was unsure what to do. I was just a student nurse, and the man was NOT my patient. I decided to go and seek the advice of my instructor. I wanted to see if I couldn't just take the man to the restroom myself. By the time I returned, the orderly was back with the patient, but, this time, he had grabbed his arm and was being so very rough with the man, I wanted to cry! The gentleman, no longer able to wait, had urinated in his wheelchair and the orderly was taking his frustration out on the man, because now the orderly had a mess to clean up as well as a bath to perform. The orderly was using harsh tones and verbally berating the patient. Thankfully, because I had asked my instructor for assistance, she had followed me to the scene and was a witness to this abuse. I do NOT know if that orderly was fired, he should have been. But, I do know that my instructor helped me relieve that orderly of that task at hand. It just broke my heart to watch another be so very unkindly and unfairly treated! IF only the orderly had just taken the patient to the restroom when he had first requested that, there would not have been ANY REASON for the patient's subsequent embarrassing predicament! IT was a travesty!

Unfortunately, it is one that I have witnessed more than once over the years. When I have been able, I have spoken boldly and clearly against such inhumanity. I will say that it has NEVER been as blatant as that first encounter was, thank goodness. BUT, there have been times that I have had to gently explain that even though it may seem a patient is NOT cognizant, they are, for the most part, completely aware when someone is mistreating them.

Just a year later, I had a patient that none of the other nurses would take, they all complained that he was so very obstinate and refused all care and was far too difficult to care for. FOR me, that is exactly the patient that I prefer. I would rather take on the patients that no one else would, because I have observed that it is the patients that are less compliant that do seem to be treated with far less compassion and gentle care. And, to prevent them from enduring any further harm, I would opt to take upon me, their care. This patient initially did NOT respond to me either. BUT, I refused to give up. AND, as I spent time with him, I realized that much of the reason he was so grumpy, was that he was just in so very much pain. I was able to increase the dose of his pain medication, via a doctor's order. Then, I began to tease with him and I was able to goad him into going on short walks with me up and down the hall. We became fast friends. I remember that on one late evening, as he called for me to hand him his urinal, and as I tried to retrieve it, I ended up dumping all of the contents of the urinal all over him and his bed! I was mortified! I knew how much pain he was in, and to move him by this time, just caused him so very much pain! With tears in my eyes, I begged for his forgiveness. I told him how very sorry I was that he would have to endure a quick sponge bath and linen change! He looked at me, (as my tears fell softly on the linen that was saturated already,) with such tenderness! NONE of that bitter, grumpy old man
remaining. He patted my hand, and gave me a weak smile and made a joke! I laughed through my tears! What an honor and a sacred privilege it has been to be in the company of such amazing people. I have learned so much of life, love, courage, and tenacity from my patients. Sadly, he was one of many that I had to say good-bye to, as he left this vail of tears for a far better place. In fact, all of the patient's that I began caring for, that first year I worked at the University of Michigan Hospitals, returned within the next 8 months to die.(on the Otorhinolaryngology floor---which is normally ear, nose and throat, but, on our floor of 8 East, it was almost exclusively an Oncology floor, where we took care of patients with head and neck cancer.) IT was so hard to watch them fade slowly away. Yet, knowing how pain-filled their existence was, I did NOT begrudge them their release from that pain. And for the most part, they knew that they were going HOME.

Yet, there was one woman, that as I cared for her, and I knew that her time was getting short, (as you work with the dying, it becomes easier to know the stages of death) I noticed that she was becoming more and more agitated. I looked into her eyes and I saw pure terror! She could not speak, her larynx had been surgically removed. So, I asked her to blink her eyes in response to my questions. She was so very swollen with edema, it was alarming. I asked her if the reason she was so very upset had to do with her condition. She blinked twice, so, YES! I asked her if she was afraid to die. Again, her response was YES! I asked her if she wanted me to stay with her, to sit and just hold her hand for a while. Again, a YES. Then, normally, I would ask if she would like to speak with a priest or other religious leader, but, I felt impressed to just ask if I could tell her what I KNEW was waiting for her when she did pass from this life to the next. I really do NOT remember how much time elapsed. I know I spent at least all of my lunch break and then some, relating to her my firm testimony that there is life after this life. That we will be embraced by our Loving Parents and OUR SAVIOR! And, that all the pain and sorrow of this life will be swallowed up in the joy of being back HOME. As I finished, I could see her entire body relax. ALL the previous terror gone, and just a tangible feeling of peace permeated the room. She fell asleep. And, within that 24 hour period, she too went HOME. It is for such moments that I believe we are sent. TO be there for our brothers and sisters in their greatest times of need! I LOVE being a NURSE! I love the fact that in some small way, I can make a difference in the lives of those who have been given some of the most difficult, painful days in existence!

My prayer is that we can one day, see a total end to all inhumanity, to all unkindness towards each other! That we may all catch the vision of our Savior, and love and live as HE so very Perfectly, Beautifully and Magnificently did!




CRABBY OLD MAN

For all of us, who will be there one day!


When an old man died in the geriatric ward of a nursing home in North Platte, Nebraska, it was believed that he had nothing left of any value.

Later, when the nurses were going through his meager possessions, they found this poem. Its quality and content so impressed the staff that copies were made and distributed to every nurse in the hospital.

One nurse took her copy to Missouri. The old man's sole bequest to posterity has since appeared in the Christmas edition of the News Magazine of the St. Louis Association for Mental Health. A slide presentation has also been made based on his simple, but eloquent, poem.

And this little old man, with nothing left to give to the world, is now the author of this 'anonymous' poem winging across the Internet.

Crabby Old Man

What do you see nurses?. . . . .. What do you see?
What are you thinking . . . . ... when you're looking at me?
A crabby old man, . . . . . not very wise,
Uncertain of habit .. . . . ... . . . . . with faraway eyes?

Who dribbles his food . . . . . . .. . and makes no reply .
When you say in a loud voice . . . . . . 'I do wish you'd try!'
Who seems not to notice . . . . . . the things that you do.
And forever is losing . . . . . . . . . . A sock or shoe?

Who, resisting or not . . . . . . . . . . lets you do as you will,
With bathing and feeding . . . . . . . The long day to fill?
Is that what you're thinking? ... . . . . Is that what you see?
Then open your eyes, nurse . . . . . you're not looking at me..

I'll tell you who I am. . . . . . . .. As I sit here so still,
As I do at your bidding, . . . . . . as I eat at your will.
I'm a small child of Ten . . . . . with a father and mother,
Brothers and sisters .... . . . . . . .. . who love one another.

A young boy of Sixteen . .. . . . with wings on his feet.
Dreaming that soon now . . . . . . . .. a lover he'll meet.
A groom soon at Twenty . . . . . my heart gives a leap.
Remembering, the vows . . . . . that I promised to keep.

At Twenty-Five, now . . ... . . . . . I have young of my own.
Who need me to guide . . . . And a secure happy home.
A man of Thirty . . . . . . . . . My young now grown fast,
Bound to each other . . . . . . . With ties that should last.

At Forty, my young sons . . . . . . have grown and are gone,
But my woman's beside me . . . . . to see I don't mourn..
At Fifty, once more, babies play 'round my knee,
Again, we know children . . . . . . . My loved one and me.

Dark days are upon me . . . . . . my wife is now dead.
I look at the future . . . . . . . . shudder with dread.
For my young are all rearing . . . . . young of their own.
And I think of the years . . . and the love that I've known.

I'm now an old man . . . . . . . . . and nature is cruel.
Tis jest to make old age . . . . look like a fool.
The body, it crumbles . . . . . . .grace and vigor, depart.
There is now a stone .. . . . ... . . where I once had a heart.

But inside this old carcass . . . .. . . a young guy still dwells,
And now and again . . . .. . . . my battered heart swells.
I remember the joys . . . . . . . . . I remember the pain.
And I'm loving and living . . . . . . . . . . .. life over again.

I think of the years, all too few . . . .. . . gone too fast.
And accept the stark fact . . . ... . . that nothing can last.
So open your eyes, people . . . . . . .. .. open and see.
Not a crabby old man. Look closer . . .. . see ME!!