MAY I BE HIS HANDS!

April was such a busy month! BUT, it was such a joy-filled month as well! I was so very blessed to have three of my daughters return home! Kathryn, who is 21, was serving a mission for our church in Phoenix, Arizona. She was gone for 19 LONG months! SO, to see her coming down the stairs at the Salt Lake City Airport, well, I was overwhelmed! FOR the first week that she was home, every time, and I mean EVERY TIME I saw her, I just wept! It was so wonderful to have her home. I have likewise wept at the blessing of having my other two daughters return home from Minnesota. Colleen, who had been gone for almost 2 years, was so sorely missed! I am so very grateful that she took us up on the offer to come home after Kathryn and I flew to Minnesota to have Kathryn see her father and her sisters and new nephew, Trevor! Bonnie and Scott's little Trevor is so adorable! IT was such an amazing thing to see my oldest daughter excel in her mothering! FOR so many years, she had told me that she did NOT wish to have any children! BUT, after waiting for 7 years, I guess the time was right and she has now exclaimed that she wants to have more children, she finally understands why I wanted to have so many beautiful little babies come join our family! Carrie Ann had been staying with Bonnie and Scott to help with Trevor. I was able to be there for his birth, but, being a single, working Mom, I could NOT stay as long as I wanted, and so, Carrie took my place. She was a wonderful help and yet, again, was sorely missed by me at home!

And, it is with great anticipation that we look forward to Bonnie and Scott and Trevor moving in with us come August, so that they can find work, find a home of their own and just be near us. I will then be in heaven! There just is NO greater JOY for me, than to have ALL of my children close!

I have started a couple of posts, and yet, with all the hubbub of life right now, I have been unable to complete them. I will soon....
FOR today, I just would like to share my gratitude for the blessings of having so many wonderful, amazing, awesome, outstanding and beautiful children! I am so humbled that I would be so very blessed! I am so very grateful that we have a HEAVENLY FAMILY! Heavenly Parents, an OLDER BROTHER and it is so awesome that we are all spirit children of our Heavenly Parents! I am also overwhelmed at the love THEY have for all of US! THAT was no more evident then when our Savior came down to this earth, took on a mortal frame and lived a perfect life, so as to show us the way! AND, what was HIS reward for living so perfectly? HE was condemned, persecuted, tried and finally crucified on the Cross at Calvary. BUT, that was NOT all, he took upon HIMSELF the sins of ALL those who would ever live here on this earth.....for you and for me, he atoned for all of our sins. HE then died for us, so that we might LIVE again! AND, if we choose to live by HIS laws, obey HIS and the Father's commandments, we will live with THEM again, forever, to never again be separated from THEM or from our FAMILIES! HOW precious this truth is to me! HOW great is my gratitude for that, the greatest gift, the greatest act of mercy and love for all of us! Amazingly, all we have to do to partake of this incredible gift of eternal life and exaltation---or immortality and life forever with GOD and Jesus, the Holy Ghost and our Heavenly Mother, is to accept the Atonement,Be BAPTIZED as HE was; accept Jesus as OUR divine Savior and Redeemer and live a life as close to HIS as we possibly can!

I weep when I think of the beauty of this plan of happiness, where we can earn the right to live with our Heavenly Family and Earthly Family FOREVER!

I recently had an experience that brought the reality of this most precious gift with full force into my heart and mind....

I was in a hurry to get to work. I work nights as a private duty nurse. I work 8 pm to 4 am. It was last Monday,(exactly a week ago today!) as I was on my way to work, that I had planned to go to Sam's Club. My children were involved in Soccer and they all needed TREATS for their teams and their coaches! SO, with three teams, and three coaches, I decided it would be far more cost efficient to buy in bulk! I had a gift card with about $40 on it, and I had about that much in cash as well. I took my purchases quickly to the check-out. I gave the cashier my gift card first and asked her to run it first. She did. BUT, it came back declined! I was shocked! I KNEW the money was ON that CARD! I asked her to please run it again. This she did. Once again, it was declined. I do not know if that has ever happened to anyone else, but, it is SO embarrassing! I did NOT have another way to pay and the total exceeded my cash on hand. The total was $69.01! I began telling the cashier which items to take back in order to have enough money to pay my bill. Meanwhile, there was a family standing in line next to me. The gentleman approached me after we had started taking items back. He looked into my eyes, and simply said, " Will you allow me to do this?" I said, "What??" He said, "Will you allow me to pay for your groceries?
I will run it through on my card." I was dumbfounded! I was overwhelmed! I said, "I do have the money, I can give you all my cash and there is $36.00 on this card, I KNOW that there is!" He said, " NO, I do NOT want your money or your card. Please just allow me to do this for you." I began to cry. I said, "Why? Why would you do this?" He said, " Just consider this your lucky day!" I was shocked! I hesitated and he began talking to the cashier. He told her to ring back up all the items she had deleted from the bill, then, he ran his card! I was, of course, still in tears! I asked if there was ANYTHING I could do to repay him, he nodded no, and just smiled! I walked out of Sam's Club, I began to quickly load the car with the groceries, fearing I would be late for work! My benefactor came out with his wife and disabled son. I was still in tears, and I thanked them again. They just smiled and said, "YOU are most welcome!"

It took awhile to recover. I have been so very blessed! I have been the recipient of so much kindness, so many acts of service and love! I feel so very unworthy of all that I have been given!

As I pondered again, yesterday, about this very event that started my week, I thought how similar that is to what the Savior does for us, did for us and is STILL DOING FOR EACH OF US! HE merely asks, "WILL YOU ALLOW ME TO HELP YOU? WILL YOU ALLOW ME TO TAKE THIS BURDEN FROM YOU?" SO often, I have doggedly refused HIS proffered, FREE gift! I have felt that I MUST somehow do it all alone! I must NOT rely on ANYONE! And, yet, HE is still there, offering to HELP ANYONE OF US that are willing to allow HIM TO HELP us! ALL HE asks is that we accept HIM and HIS GIFT!

I thought, one day, I too want to be able to do for someone else what was done for me. I have had the opportunity to do it on a MUCH, MUCH smaller scale. A couple of times, I have been able to provide the needed change for someone in line ahead of me, when they were just a bit short. NOTHING CLOSE to $69.01! But, hopefully, and actually I KNOW, it is NOT the size of the gift we are willing to offer our brothers and sisters! IT is just that in our hearts we would and we do what and when we can!

THEN I reflect on that most precious of gifts given to me, that of my own birth provided to me by my angel mother and my father....and the spiritual rebirth made available by OUR SAVIOR, even Jesus the Christ! ONE day, I pray, I will be worthy and able to enter HIS presence and kneel at HIS feet, bathe his feet with my tears, and kiss the nail prints in HIS hands and feet. ONE day, I pray, I will be able to tell HIM in PERSON, how GREAT HE IS, HOW GRATEFUL I am for HIS ATONING SACRIFICE! AND for HIS perfect light and life! What a sacred and holy and blessed day that will be!

Until that time, what can I DO? Well, I can be more and more like that HUMAN savior at Sam's Club! I can seek out those in need around me! I can pray to have a far more observant heart and to have an increased awareness of those around me that might just need that hug, that smile, that note of encouragement. I pray that I can live my life more determined to do SO much MORE good! TO BE HIS HANDS! TO show in every word and deed, that I am a true disciple of MY SAVIOR, Jesus Christ! TO have everyone around me feel HIS LOVE for them THROUGH ME! That is my constant prayer! MAY I NEVER FORGET all that HAS been done for me, by the angels HE has sent to me, and MOST ESPECIALLY, BY our LORD as well.