I am, once again, working all night. I have been granted permission to use some of the time that I am working all night, doing schoolwork, checking emails, or just in general, using my laptop with my wireless connection. What a blessing that is right now! I find I am in the blessed situation to be able to multi-task AND be paid for that! But, it is still so very difficult to leave my children and work outside the home. I was so very blessed to be able to be a stay at home mother for 20 years! BUT, my circumstances changed, and my working is a necessary evil! ( I say EVIL because anytime I am away from my children, it is so sad to me....)
Anyway, I thought I might share a tender moment, and a sweet memory with you all. I was driving with my youngest daughter, Shawnie. (She is 8 years of age) We were on our way home from Brigham City. We had been doing errands and now had about a 30 minute drive just to chat. IT has been particularly hard on Shawnie when I do have to work. SO, she began to complain, once again, about how much she truly hated me leaving her the nights I did work.
I pondered as to what to say to her that I had NOT ALREADY said on the subject! I had often told her all of the reasons that our budget just could not allow me to be home 24/7! I felt impressed to ask her if she even knew what I did when I was at work! She replied that she knew I took care of a little boy, but that was all! SO, I began to tell her about my work. I said, " Shawnie, do you know that this little boy I take care of at night does have his parents home, but, if I was not there, they would not be able to ever get a full nights sleep!" Shawnie said, "Why not Mom?" I then explained what I was required to do for this little patient of mine. I said, "Shawnie, do you know that he can not even breathe without the help of a tube in his neck? AND, he cannot even eat like you can. All of his food has to be fed to him through a tube that goes into his stomach. HE cannot even drink anything nor can he eat anything. IF he is thirsty, he cannot even tell me! I just have to keep his mouth moist and put Vaseline on his lips. Did you know that his lips get so dry and chapped because he cannot even lick his own lips? HE cannot scratch if he has an itch! He does not have any use of his legs or arms. I have to turn him frequently all night, so he does not get sores on his shoulders, back, arms, and feet! Can you imagine how hard it must be for him? IF something is bothering him, he cannot even tell me! Sometimes, it takes me a while to figure out why he is crying! And, it breaks my heart! I work so hard and fast to try and find out just what he does need so that he is not suffering!" Shawnie was so very quiet by this point. I looked over at her, and I was overwhelmed with emotion, as I saw tears welling up in her eyes and spilling down her cheeks. She did NOT speak for a moment. Then, she said, "Mom, I will never ever ask you to stay home from work again! HE really does need you more than I do, doesn't he?"
Then, I began to cry. I told Shawnie that I loved this little boy and it did make my day that when he hears my voice as I enter his room, he will smile! HE does make noise and tries to talk to me as I read to him and it is clear to me that he is aware of his surroundings! BUT, the love I had for my little patient, would never ever be as great as my love for her! FOR each of my own children! I told Shawnie that my job was NOT to be his Mom, because he does have a Mom that loves him like I love her! I was just there to give his parents the help they need to care for him. I explained to her that we just do not always even comprehend our blessings! HOW wonderful that we can move our limbs, eat our food, scratch at whatever itches! HOW sad that we take all these things for granted. BUT, it is when we see others that are so limited, that we must always treat them with the utmost kindness and love and then thank our Heavenly Father that we have been so very blessed!And, we should ALWAYS pray for those who do not have all that we have been so very blessed to have! I had no idea that Shawnie would react as she did! I did NOT even think, until that moment, to explain how really important it was, to that family, that I did help them at night. I was so moved that Shawnie would be so mature and self-sacrificing! At such a young age, to tell me that he needed me more than she did! I just wept along with her! How grateful I am for the whisperings of the spirit that led me to explain more fully to Shawnie, just what I was doing each night I did work!
And, she has been true to her word! She has NOT complained as I have had to leave around 7 pm the nights I do work. She will tell me that she is going to miss me, and I hug and kiss her and tell her that I will really miss being with her! IT is still so hard to leave my own beautiful children as I do go off to work! IT is such an amazing blessing to me, though, that I can tell my children that I am not just working for a paycheck, but, I am truly being of service to this family that has been given such an enormous challenge to deal with for the life of this child.
How blessed we are to have the use of our senses, our limbs, our voices! May we thank the LORD for all these gifts and use them always to bless others, never to hurt or harm our brothers and sisters here upon this earth!
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
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The only service a friend can really render is to keep up your courage by holding up to you a mirror in which you can see a noble image of yourself.
- George Bernard Shaw
Thanks to all those very special FRIENDS that have done just exactly that for me!!!
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