Well, this was my 26th Mother's Day! I remember so very well, the pregnancy, labor and delivery of my firstborn! Bonnie Kae entered the world just a little after 11 pm on March 28th, 1982. I was so excited that she would forever share the Prophet, President Spencer W. Kimball's birthday! He was my favorite Prophet! And, now my daughter was born on his very birthday!
My introduction to the joys of pregnancy, however, was less than joyful! At first, the pain was so intense, the doctor thought I might actually be experiencing a tubal pregnancy. What a blessing that was NOT the case. The months of lying on the couch and vomiting and retching was not what I had expected at all. I had heard of all the typical cravings and yet, I could not even think about food without an overwhelming attack of nausea, followed swiftly by vomiting! I wondered if I really could endure the agony, but, the day that I heard my baby's heartbeat and then later, feeling the baby move within me--well, all the suffering was so very worth it! I was not anxious to repeat the experience, but, I knew that all I had gone through was so very worth it all. I could not wait until the day I would be able to hold, love and snuggle my baby! I had been babysitting for well over a dozen years, and I was so very excited for my turn to have a baby that would call me MaMa, would reach for, smile and coo for me, and I would not have to give back to it's mother!
I am embarrassed to admit that I did some bargaining with the Lord! I reminded Him that unlike many of my friends that were also experiencing their first pregnancies, I was the ONLY ONE of the group that had suffered the morning sickness all morning, noon and night! (I thought it was very deceptive to term it "morning sickness" when, for me, it was all day and long into the night!) Additionally, where most were able to feel so much better after their first trimester, I suffered with the nausea and vomiting well into my third trimester! (in fact, I vomited on my way to the hospital to give BIRTH!!!) So, given these facts, I just told the Lord, I deserved to have an easy labor and delivery! (Like I had the power to alter how things in my life occurred by reasoning with the Lord!!!) Yet, I was blessed to have a "text-book" labor and delivery. It was not inordinately long, nor was it unbearably, incredibly painful. So, perhaps that is what led to my belief that I actually could successfully bargain with the Lord!
Anyway, the moment I was able to hold Bonnie for the first time, I was overwhelmed with the greatest joy I have ever experienced---( the only other times I had experienced that type of joy being the other 10 times my precious babies were placed in my arms! ) I had always known that I wanted, first and foremost, to be the most loving wife and then the best mother ever! I had not fit in well in "the world," but, with that amazing baby girl, I finally felt I had discovered my passion in life! Being a Mother was just that! My passion!
I made many mistakes as I learned how to be a mother. ( Actually, I am STILL learning how to be a good mother!) I cringe to this day at some of my more colossal mistakes! I can not even believe that my children---but Bonnie in particular---could really ever forgive and still somehow find it in their hearts to love me! Bonnie not only opened the matrix, but, she opened my heart, mind and soul to what mothering really was, and how very tender and precious a mother/child bond can be. I was willing to do any and everything for her, I would have given my life to protect her and provide for her. I learned early on, though, that children do not really care how we go about our roles as parents, as long as they know we are willing to admit when we get it wrong and if we do all we do, with LOVE. They do not want us to give our lives, they just want us to give them our lives, as in a lifetime of loving and caring!
Today, Bonnie is 26 years old. She is no longer just my firstborn daughter, but, she is my very best friend! I love her on so many different levels! Fortunately, I can not imagine life without her, and I am praying I will never ever have to be without her in my life! She provides me with encouragement, comfort and support. She is the most beautiful young lady I have ever known, bar none! (well, OK, she shares that distinction with all her sisters!) She is the most dependable, reliable, hard-working, independent, resourceful, talented, clean, intelligent, compassionate, tenacious, loyal, honest, strong, articulate, and faith-filled young lady! Whenever there is a need, she will discover it and do all in her power to provide! She calls me to seek us to gather as a family and pray for her, when she has a need. She will give the shirt off her back to someone in need, she will do infinitely more for any member of her family. She has never ever been selfish. I have been able to count on her to assist me in every way to care for all of her siblings! I am in awe of all she has become and the beautiful woman she has always been.
I know this is a very personal post, but, I would like to, over the next week (in honor of those beautiful children that have made it possible for me to be a mother!) share experiences that I cherish about each one of my children.
I thank my Heavenly Father with all that I have, that HE was willing to bless me by entrusting me with the care and nurture of truly, the most amazing spirits that I have ever had the opportunity to get to know. Thank Goodness for my own mother that has given me such a great example in so many ways! I would have no idea how to be a mother if I had not had such an awesome mother myself!
Monday, May 12, 2008
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
Musings and Currant Bushes
Last August, I had begun working at a plant here in town as their nurse. Monday through Friday, 6 am to 2:30 pm--awesome hours--full time though, but the pay was more than I have ever had with the promise of great benefits. It was right here in town; less than 3 miles away and I would no longer have to work nights. With teenage daughters, working nights just was not wise.
Things had been rather tight, and so, with Kathryn needing to have me support her on her mission and gathering all her needed supplies, this job was an answer to prayers! It was, however, very stressful and my supervisor was very unkind and demeaning. Yet, I was happy to endure it because I thought, finally, we can start being financially secure! Right? Wrong! I have had Heavenly Father remind me numerous times that I need to be home taking care of my family, but, the financial demands are so overwhelming at times, I guess I just do not have sufficient faith and so, I go out and get a job, which lasts----not very long----and then I am back where I started!
I am sure none of you are as dense and as slow to figure things out. I keep hitting my head against the wall, only to ask in bewilderment and frustration, "Why does my head hurt so badly!?!" Well, I lost that perfect job early in October of 2007, after a brief two months! I have been able to muddle through, and yet, I have been so depressed and worried. I have not lost faith, because I do know and accept the fact that most of my struggles are self-inflicted or just part of being a single mom with so many depending upon me! But, as I prayed, I was reminded of an article I had read in my (long-ago) youth. I looked it up on the church site and found that it was in the January 1973 New Era! So, immediately, I knew that it had to be the spirit that was bringing it back to my remembrance! It was an article by Elder Hugh B. Brown, called the Currant Bush. It was perfect! It gave me such comfort and peace!
THE CURRANT BUSH---by Elder Hugh B. Brown:
You sometimes wonder whether the Lord really knows what he ought to do with you. You sometimes wonder if you know better than he does about what you ought to do and ought to become. I am wondering if I may tell you a story that I have told quite often in the Church. It is a story that is older than you are. It’s a piece out of my own life, and I’ve told it in many stakes and missions. It has to do with an incident in my life when God showed me that he knew best.
I was living up in Canada. I had purchased a farm. It was run-down. I went out one morning and saw a currant bush. It had grown up over six feet high. It was going all to wood. There were no blossoms and no currants. I was raised on a fruit farm in Salt Lake before we went to Canada, and I knew what ought to happen to that currant bush. So I got some pruning shears and went after it, and I cut it down, and pruned it, and clipped it back until there was nothing left but a little clump of stumps. It was just coming daylight, and I thought I saw on top of each of these little stumps what appeared to be a tear, and I thought the currant bush was crying. I was kind of simpleminded (and I haven’t entirely gotten over it), and I looked at it, and smiled, and said, “What are you crying about?” You know, I thought I heard that currant bush talk. And I thought I heard it say this: “How could you do this to me? I was making such wonderful growth. I was almost as big as the shade tree and the fruit tree that are inside the fence, and now you have cut me down. Every plant in the garden will look down on me, because I didn’t make what I should have made. How could you do this to me? I thought you were the gardener here.” That’s what I thought I heard the currant bush say, and I thought it so much that I answered. I said, “Look, little currant bush, I am the gardener here, and I know what I want you to be. I didn’t intend you to be a fruit tree or a shade tree. I want you to be a currant bush, and some day, little currant bush, when you are laden with fruit, you are going to say, ‘Thank you, Mr. Gardener, for loving me enough to cut me down, for caring enough about me to hurt me. Thank you, Mr. Gardener.’ ”
Time passed. Years passed, and I found myself in England. I was in command of a cavalry unit in the Canadian Army. I had made rather rapid progress as far as promotions are concerned, and I held the rank of field officer in the British Canadian Army. And I was proud of my position. And there was an opportunity for me to become a general. I had taken all the examinations. I had the seniority. There was just one man between me and that which for ten years I had hoped to get, the office of general in the British Army. I swelled up with pride. And this one man became a casualty, and I received a telegram from London. It said: “Be in my office tomorrow morning at 10:00,” signed by General Turner in charge of all Canadian forces. I called in my valet, my personal servant. I told him to polish my buttons, to brush my hat and my boots, and to make me look like a general because that is what I was going to be. He did the best he could with what he had to work on, and I went up to London. I walked smartly into the office of the General, and I saluted him smartly, and he gave me the same kind of a salute a senior officer usually gives—a sort of “Get out of the way, worm!” He said, “Sit down, Brown.” Then he said, “I’m sorry I cannot make the appointment. You are entitled to it. You have passed all the examinations. You have the seniority. You’ve been a good officer, but I can’t make the appointment. You are to return to Canada and become a training officer and a transport officer. Someone else will be made a general.” That for which I had been hoping and praying for ten years suddenly slipped out of my fingers.
Then he went into the other room to answer the telephone, and I took a soldier’s privilege of looking on his desk. I saw my personal history sheet. Right across the bottom of it in bold, block-type letters was written, “THIS MAN IS A MORMON.” We were not very well liked in those days. When I saw that, I knew why I had not been appointed. I already held the highest rank of any Mormon in the British Army. He came back and said, “That’s all, Brown.” I saluted him again, but not quite as smartly. I saluted out of duty and went out. I got on the train and started back to my town, 120 miles away, with a broken heart, with bitterness in my soul. And every click of the wheels on the rails seemed to say, “You are a failure. You will be called a coward when you get home. You raised all those Mormon boys to join the army, then you sneak off home.” I knew what I was going to get, and when I got to my tent, I was so bitter that I threw my cap and my saddle brown belt on the cot. I clinched my fists and I shook them at heaven. I said, “How could you do this to me, God? I have done everything I could do to measure up. There is nothing that I could have done—that I should have done—that I haven’t done. How could you do this to me?” I was as bitter as gall.
And then I heard a voice, and I recognized the tone of this voice. It was my own voice, and the voice said, “I am the gardener here. I know what I want you to do.” The bitterness went out of my soul, and I fell on my knees by the cot to ask forgiveness for my ungratefulness and my bitterness. While kneeling there I heard a song being sung in an adjoining tent. A number of Mormon boys met regularly every Tuesday night. I usually met with them. We would sit on the floor and have a Mutual Improvement Association. As I was kneeling there, praying for forgiveness, I heard their voices singing:
“It may not be on the mountain height Or over the stormy sea;It may not be at the battle’s front My Lord will have need of me;But if, by a still, small voice he calls To paths that I do not know,I’ll answer, dear Lord, with my hand in thine:I’ll go where you want me to go.”(Hymns, no. 75.)
I arose from my knees a humble man. And now, almost fifty years later, I look up to him and say, “Thank you, Mr. Gardener, for cutting me down, for loving me enough to hurt me.” I see now that it was wise that I should not become a general at that time, because if I had I would have been senior officer of all western Canada, with a lifelong, handsome salary, a place to live, and a pension when I’m no good any longer, but I would have raised my six daughters and two sons in army barracks. They would no doubt have married out of the Church, and I think I would not have amounted to anything. I haven’t amounted to very much as it is, but I have done better than I would have done if the Lord had let me go the way I wanted to go.
I wanted to tell you that oft-repeated story because there are many of you who are going to have some very difficult experiences: disappointment, heartbreak, bereavement, defeat. You are going to be tested and tried to prove what you are made of. I just want you to know that if you don’t get what you think you ought to get, remember, “God is the gardener here. He knows what he wants you to be.” Submit yourselves to his will. Be worthy of his blessings, and you will get his blessings. "
I then read all I could about Elder Brown and his life. He was an amazing man and had endured many, many disappointments and had witnessed that it was the hand of the Lord directing his life----not always in the ways he had hoped or wished for! Boy, did that sound familiar. BUT, he handled it with such grace and dignity! So, I decided I should at least TRY to handle my disappointments with some faint hint of that same kind of grace! I wish with all my heart that I was not living the life of a single mother of so many, that I had not lost my marriage that started out with the expectation it would last forever! It has been and still is such a bitter part of my life, but, that does not have to be the only facet of my life that defines who I am---right? I can be grateful I have the blessings I do and stop mourning for the losses I have suffered! It is, after all, a choice, right!?! I just wish I could always remember that~!
Well, in November of 2007, I received a call from a young woman that has had a really tough time lately. In July of 2007, I told her that my kids and I needed the blessings of serving and would be happy to help watch her three children---ages 8 months, 2 and 4 years. We did not always have all three, and initially we had them more than once a week. In September, we were only watching them on Saturdays, for about 12 hours. I wanted my children to have younger ones to care for and to learn the joy of service, so babysitting for them was totally self-centered on my part. Anyway, she called and said that the ones providing her child care during the rest of the week had cancelled. She was getting the child care funds from vocational rehab in order to go to school and she has to be gone 5 days a week for 11-12 hours and asked if she could have me do that and she would have vocational rehab pay me not only for the additional 4 days of care, but for the Saturdays we were already watching the kids. I was overwhelmed! I was in shock. It was quite a bit less than what I was making at the plant as a nurse, obviously, it did not have the promise of benefits and the hours were longer. But, I was able to be HOME! Also, it was more than enough to take care of Kathryn's mission and even have some additional funds for food and clothing! It was a miracle to me! I had decided that I would just sit back and wait for the Lord to reveal what HE wanted. I was sure, if I did what I wanted, which was to rush head long into any type of employment just for the sake of being employed, it would work out as well as ever---which is not at all! (or not for long!) I have finally figured out that HE does not wish me to ever have to deal with the temptation of riches! And, I am at peace with that. But, the night previous to her call, when I did not have but one vehicle that would work, and I thought, this relying on the Lord is rather a wild ride at times, ( Please do not misunderstand, I do know it is the very best way to go, because when I try to rely on myself or the arm of flesh---well, it truly only leads me to greater heartache and pain!) anyway, as I am thinking, OK, I am trying to do whatever I can to obey; then out of the blue comes an opportunity to work at home!
I have been thinking a lot about Elder Eyring's conference address of October 2007 and have realized that I do not take the time to write out all that the Lord does indeed do for me and my family. And, because I do not do that, I am so easily pressed down with the cares of this world and I am so easily discouraged. Well, for today, I am grateful and I just wanted to share my testimony of the Lord's awesome patience and love for us all, even children like me who are constantly walking into walls and wondering why I have a headache! I do finally get a clue, even if it is only for a few short weeks & I am back to my bewilderment stage (far too quickly~!---if my history repeats itself---as it usually does! )
I know Jesus is the Christ, I know we have His prophet upon this earth, and He does direct our paths through him and through personal revelation---if we will just take advantage of it. I also know HIS ways are far above mine and I can not conceive of how HE will make something of me, but, I am trying to be patient as HE does prune my branches, so to speak!
I have been so very blessed and know that whatever we as a family have needed, it has been provided by a loving Heavenly Father and often, by inspired family and friends!
Well, please know that if Heavenly Father is so very good and kind and patient with me, think of all HE will do for YOU!
Things had been rather tight, and so, with Kathryn needing to have me support her on her mission and gathering all her needed supplies, this job was an answer to prayers! It was, however, very stressful and my supervisor was very unkind and demeaning. Yet, I was happy to endure it because I thought, finally, we can start being financially secure! Right? Wrong! I have had Heavenly Father remind me numerous times that I need to be home taking care of my family, but, the financial demands are so overwhelming at times, I guess I just do not have sufficient faith and so, I go out and get a job, which lasts----not very long----and then I am back where I started!
I am sure none of you are as dense and as slow to figure things out. I keep hitting my head against the wall, only to ask in bewilderment and frustration, "Why does my head hurt so badly!?!" Well, I lost that perfect job early in October of 2007, after a brief two months! I have been able to muddle through, and yet, I have been so depressed and worried. I have not lost faith, because I do know and accept the fact that most of my struggles are self-inflicted or just part of being a single mom with so many depending upon me! But, as I prayed, I was reminded of an article I had read in my (long-ago) youth. I looked it up on the church site and found that it was in the January 1973 New Era! So, immediately, I knew that it had to be the spirit that was bringing it back to my remembrance! It was an article by Elder Hugh B. Brown, called the Currant Bush. It was perfect! It gave me such comfort and peace!
THE CURRANT BUSH---by Elder Hugh B. Brown:
You sometimes wonder whether the Lord really knows what he ought to do with you. You sometimes wonder if you know better than he does about what you ought to do and ought to become. I am wondering if I may tell you a story that I have told quite often in the Church. It is a story that is older than you are. It’s a piece out of my own life, and I’ve told it in many stakes and missions. It has to do with an incident in my life when God showed me that he knew best.
I was living up in Canada. I had purchased a farm. It was run-down. I went out one morning and saw a currant bush. It had grown up over six feet high. It was going all to wood. There were no blossoms and no currants. I was raised on a fruit farm in Salt Lake before we went to Canada, and I knew what ought to happen to that currant bush. So I got some pruning shears and went after it, and I cut it down, and pruned it, and clipped it back until there was nothing left but a little clump of stumps. It was just coming daylight, and I thought I saw on top of each of these little stumps what appeared to be a tear, and I thought the currant bush was crying. I was kind of simpleminded (and I haven’t entirely gotten over it), and I looked at it, and smiled, and said, “What are you crying about?” You know, I thought I heard that currant bush talk. And I thought I heard it say this: “How could you do this to me? I was making such wonderful growth. I was almost as big as the shade tree and the fruit tree that are inside the fence, and now you have cut me down. Every plant in the garden will look down on me, because I didn’t make what I should have made. How could you do this to me? I thought you were the gardener here.” That’s what I thought I heard the currant bush say, and I thought it so much that I answered. I said, “Look, little currant bush, I am the gardener here, and I know what I want you to be. I didn’t intend you to be a fruit tree or a shade tree. I want you to be a currant bush, and some day, little currant bush, when you are laden with fruit, you are going to say, ‘Thank you, Mr. Gardener, for loving me enough to cut me down, for caring enough about me to hurt me. Thank you, Mr. Gardener.’ ”
Time passed. Years passed, and I found myself in England. I was in command of a cavalry unit in the Canadian Army. I had made rather rapid progress as far as promotions are concerned, and I held the rank of field officer in the British Canadian Army. And I was proud of my position. And there was an opportunity for me to become a general. I had taken all the examinations. I had the seniority. There was just one man between me and that which for ten years I had hoped to get, the office of general in the British Army. I swelled up with pride. And this one man became a casualty, and I received a telegram from London. It said: “Be in my office tomorrow morning at 10:00,” signed by General Turner in charge of all Canadian forces. I called in my valet, my personal servant. I told him to polish my buttons, to brush my hat and my boots, and to make me look like a general because that is what I was going to be. He did the best he could with what he had to work on, and I went up to London. I walked smartly into the office of the General, and I saluted him smartly, and he gave me the same kind of a salute a senior officer usually gives—a sort of “Get out of the way, worm!” He said, “Sit down, Brown.” Then he said, “I’m sorry I cannot make the appointment. You are entitled to it. You have passed all the examinations. You have the seniority. You’ve been a good officer, but I can’t make the appointment. You are to return to Canada and become a training officer and a transport officer. Someone else will be made a general.” That for which I had been hoping and praying for ten years suddenly slipped out of my fingers.
Then he went into the other room to answer the telephone, and I took a soldier’s privilege of looking on his desk. I saw my personal history sheet. Right across the bottom of it in bold, block-type letters was written, “THIS MAN IS A MORMON.” We were not very well liked in those days. When I saw that, I knew why I had not been appointed. I already held the highest rank of any Mormon in the British Army. He came back and said, “That’s all, Brown.” I saluted him again, but not quite as smartly. I saluted out of duty and went out. I got on the train and started back to my town, 120 miles away, with a broken heart, with bitterness in my soul. And every click of the wheels on the rails seemed to say, “You are a failure. You will be called a coward when you get home. You raised all those Mormon boys to join the army, then you sneak off home.” I knew what I was going to get, and when I got to my tent, I was so bitter that I threw my cap and my saddle brown belt on the cot. I clinched my fists and I shook them at heaven. I said, “How could you do this to me, God? I have done everything I could do to measure up. There is nothing that I could have done—that I should have done—that I haven’t done. How could you do this to me?” I was as bitter as gall.
And then I heard a voice, and I recognized the tone of this voice. It was my own voice, and the voice said, “I am the gardener here. I know what I want you to do.” The bitterness went out of my soul, and I fell on my knees by the cot to ask forgiveness for my ungratefulness and my bitterness. While kneeling there I heard a song being sung in an adjoining tent. A number of Mormon boys met regularly every Tuesday night. I usually met with them. We would sit on the floor and have a Mutual Improvement Association. As I was kneeling there, praying for forgiveness, I heard their voices singing:
“It may not be on the mountain height Or over the stormy sea;It may not be at the battle’s front My Lord will have need of me;But if, by a still, small voice he calls To paths that I do not know,I’ll answer, dear Lord, with my hand in thine:I’ll go where you want me to go.”(Hymns, no. 75.)
I arose from my knees a humble man. And now, almost fifty years later, I look up to him and say, “Thank you, Mr. Gardener, for cutting me down, for loving me enough to hurt me.” I see now that it was wise that I should not become a general at that time, because if I had I would have been senior officer of all western Canada, with a lifelong, handsome salary, a place to live, and a pension when I’m no good any longer, but I would have raised my six daughters and two sons in army barracks. They would no doubt have married out of the Church, and I think I would not have amounted to anything. I haven’t amounted to very much as it is, but I have done better than I would have done if the Lord had let me go the way I wanted to go.
I wanted to tell you that oft-repeated story because there are many of you who are going to have some very difficult experiences: disappointment, heartbreak, bereavement, defeat. You are going to be tested and tried to prove what you are made of. I just want you to know that if you don’t get what you think you ought to get, remember, “God is the gardener here. He knows what he wants you to be.” Submit yourselves to his will. Be worthy of his blessings, and you will get his blessings. "
I then read all I could about Elder Brown and his life. He was an amazing man and had endured many, many disappointments and had witnessed that it was the hand of the Lord directing his life----not always in the ways he had hoped or wished for! Boy, did that sound familiar. BUT, he handled it with such grace and dignity! So, I decided I should at least TRY to handle my disappointments with some faint hint of that same kind of grace! I wish with all my heart that I was not living the life of a single mother of so many, that I had not lost my marriage that started out with the expectation it would last forever! It has been and still is such a bitter part of my life, but, that does not have to be the only facet of my life that defines who I am---right? I can be grateful I have the blessings I do and stop mourning for the losses I have suffered! It is, after all, a choice, right!?! I just wish I could always remember that~!
Well, in November of 2007, I received a call from a young woman that has had a really tough time lately. In July of 2007, I told her that my kids and I needed the blessings of serving and would be happy to help watch her three children---ages 8 months, 2 and 4 years. We did not always have all three, and initially we had them more than once a week. In September, we were only watching them on Saturdays, for about 12 hours. I wanted my children to have younger ones to care for and to learn the joy of service, so babysitting for them was totally self-centered on my part. Anyway, she called and said that the ones providing her child care during the rest of the week had cancelled. She was getting the child care funds from vocational rehab in order to go to school and she has to be gone 5 days a week for 11-12 hours and asked if she could have me do that and she would have vocational rehab pay me not only for the additional 4 days of care, but for the Saturdays we were already watching the kids. I was overwhelmed! I was in shock. It was quite a bit less than what I was making at the plant as a nurse, obviously, it did not have the promise of benefits and the hours were longer. But, I was able to be HOME! Also, it was more than enough to take care of Kathryn's mission and even have some additional funds for food and clothing! It was a miracle to me! I had decided that I would just sit back and wait for the Lord to reveal what HE wanted. I was sure, if I did what I wanted, which was to rush head long into any type of employment just for the sake of being employed, it would work out as well as ever---which is not at all! (or not for long!) I have finally figured out that HE does not wish me to ever have to deal with the temptation of riches! And, I am at peace with that. But, the night previous to her call, when I did not have but one vehicle that would work, and I thought, this relying on the Lord is rather a wild ride at times, ( Please do not misunderstand, I do know it is the very best way to go, because when I try to rely on myself or the arm of flesh---well, it truly only leads me to greater heartache and pain!) anyway, as I am thinking, OK, I am trying to do whatever I can to obey; then out of the blue comes an opportunity to work at home!
I have been thinking a lot about Elder Eyring's conference address of October 2007 and have realized that I do not take the time to write out all that the Lord does indeed do for me and my family. And, because I do not do that, I am so easily pressed down with the cares of this world and I am so easily discouraged. Well, for today, I am grateful and I just wanted to share my testimony of the Lord's awesome patience and love for us all, even children like me who are constantly walking into walls and wondering why I have a headache! I do finally get a clue, even if it is only for a few short weeks & I am back to my bewilderment stage (far too quickly~!---if my history repeats itself---as it usually does! )
I know Jesus is the Christ, I know we have His prophet upon this earth, and He does direct our paths through him and through personal revelation---if we will just take advantage of it. I also know HIS ways are far above mine and I can not conceive of how HE will make something of me, but, I am trying to be patient as HE does prune my branches, so to speak!
I have been so very blessed and know that whatever we as a family have needed, it has been provided by a loving Heavenly Father and often, by inspired family and friends!
Well, please know that if Heavenly Father is so very good and kind and patient with me, think of all HE will do for YOU!
Saturday, May 3, 2008
Illuminata, a book by Marianne Williamson
As the title suggests, this book, when seriously pondered, brings added light! If taken seriously by all who now inhabit the world, it would change the world. But, is that not the promise made by religion? Indeed! But, what if we, as a conglomerated whole, could somehow order the universe and facilitate the shedding forth the purest source of "LIGHT" (irrespective of which religion each individual ascribes to...) to all of earth's inhabitants; would it not be the beginning of the most enlightened age ever known to mankind? Is that not what the Savior, Jesus Christ---the LIGHT of the WORLD taught by example and precept?
As in the child's story, "Horton Hears a Who," Marianne Williamson presents the world with the bold idea that EACH individual on this earth has a mission and DOES matter! (Again, exactly what our Savior taught...) Unlike Dr. Seuss's contribution, though, Illuminata is not a work of fiction, nor is it intended to merely entertain. ( Now, one could argue that Dr. Seuss was just as serious about this topic, and I will not deny that possibility.) Actually, as one sincerely cogitates this literary work, it expands the mind and cognition, until we are led to the conclusion, ultimately, that our actions, our attitudes and our very thoughts alter the course of our earth's life and has a direct impact, for good or ill, on each individuals quality of living. Once amenable to this realization, can ANY of our interactions be the same, can the course of history remain the same? Ms. Williamson claims that whether we wish to acknowledge this vortex of power, light and truth; it has come, and is changing the world as we know it. While some are busily doing their part to prepare for this ultimate Renaissance, there are yet those "asleep" to their own, and the world's possibilities. In Marianne's introduction, she states: "A mass movement is afoot in the world today, spiritual in nature and radical in it's implications. After decades of declining influence on the affairs of the world, there is once again a widespread consideration of spiritual principles as an antidote to the pain of our times. Like flowers growing up through pieces of broken cement, signs of hope and faith appear everywhere. These signs reflect the light of transcendent force at the very center of things, present in our lives in a corrective and even miraculous manner, a light we can reach personally through internal work of devotional nature. We are experiencing now an alteration of collective consciousness, centered not in government or science or religion, per se. It is centered nowhere because it is present, at least, potentially, everywhere. It is the rising up of our true divine nature, a reassertion of God in the consciousness of modern man."
The author then implores the reader to "test" her theory, and become one among thousands of others which have found this portal to true "LIGHT" and its healing Love. This passage requires one to become truly religious, not to merely select membership in an organized religion. She states,"...self-actualized people are hard to manipulate, difficult to control. Genuine religion does not respect the world for it sees right through it. It's goal is to supplant the world with something much more beautiful." Abraham Lincoln was described as being, "so religious that he was beyond religion!" And that is where we must go----forever beyond the confines of the "world's view" of religion. We are at a juncture in History that may very well usher in the greatest enlightenment know to mankind since the world began. Will we do our part to facilitate this emergence? Before we can ever hope to be a positive influence, we must first realize this colossal shift is before us. The author uses the example of those alive during the Renaissance, and their, perhaps, unwitting impact upon all subsequent generations. She writes: "I doubt many people walking down the street turned to each other and said, " This is the Renaissance, don't you think?" "But, looking back, we're clear there was one."
Not only do I wholeheartedly agree with the author on so much of the content, I have witnessed this "shift" for myself and had entertained in my limited consciousness, these very thoughts! It is thrilling to read these familiar thoughts in book form---and with the adornment of superlative articulation! Is this not the time to prepare even more intensively as the Second Coming of our Savior must surely be so very near?
Eighteen years ago, as I embarked on the amazing adventure of Home-schooling, I was awestruck to encounter a massive ground-swelling of parents, Mothers in particular, that no longer were willing to accept the abdication of the past. We, and rightly so, truly are a force to be reckoned with and we will not blindly or blithely follow the past generation's lead. We were entrusted with these precious children, and we have taught them all they know to this point, we are confident we can and should continue to educate and inculcate in the them, the morality that is so sorely lacking now! Home-schooling was my first and most poignant encounter with this "religious" movement that now permeates all areas and disciplines of our world. It encompasses far more than the didactics of children. It is, as Ms. Williamson suggests, " a spiritual quickening; a celestial speed-up through which, although the darkness is getting darker, the light is getting lighter! We have reached a critical mass of spiritual yearning---despite worldly appearances. There is a mass curiosity and openness to spiritual ideas unprecedented in modern western culture. Things we thought were primitive beliefs turn out to be more sophisticated than we are! As our thoughts rise, the world rises. This is the resurrection of the human mind." This also is the resurrection of the family's true and essential role in society, the mother's crucial role. We once again see how vital and indispensable a mother's SELFLESSNESS and DAILY NURTURING of her children must be, we can not be so cavalier about these roles, if society is to endure, let alone excel.
I find that this is, indeed, an awesome time to be alive and nothing is, or ever will be more fulfilling than knowing we contributed to THIS spiritual renaissance; our existence or being, matters!
Yet, I am reminded of C.S. Lewis's masterpiece, "The Chronicles of Narnia" in book seven, "The Last Battle," chapter 13, which is entitled, "How the Dwarfs refused to be taken In," we find the Kings and Queens of Narnia and even Aslan Himself, trying to convince the dwarfs that they are in a paradisaical place with a bounty of sumptuous food and drink. Not only do the dwarfs disbelieve, but they can not "see" who is trying to help them. They respond by stating, "Well, at any rate, there's no Humbug here. We haven't let anyone take us in. The Dwarfs are for the Dwarfs!" Aslan states, "You see, they will not let us help them. They have chosen cunning instead of belief. Their prison is only in their own minds, yet they are in that prison; and so afraid of being taken in that they can not be taken out..." How often has the "world" chosen cunning over belief? How many of our fellow sojourners are refusing to be "taken in" by the message of hope, love and peace made possible through dedicated and sincere prayer to Our Savior, the author of all LIGHT?
Marianne concludes her work with prayers for a variety of occasions, rites of passage and beckons the reader to "Search for God!" That search is a lifestyle decision, she explains that prayer is the time we talk to God, meditation is the time to LISTEN for God's response. She further writes, "Meditation is a time of quiet when the mind is freed from it's attachments to the hysterical ravings of a world gone mad. Nothing is more important to the future of the world then, that millions of people begin daily prolonged meditation and prayer. Prayer is a conduit for miracles. Most of us have more faith in the power of AIDS to kill us than we have faith in GOD to heal us and make us whole. Prayer gives us access to a sweeter, more abundant life...to true and lasting inner peace."
I was so very grateful to a very dear friend who recommended this book to me. I have always trusted her judgment and in this work of art, I was not disappointed. I have always been a prayerful person. But, the attitudinal transformation endorsed by this author on the subjects of prayer, Light, Love and personal accountability were powerful. The Spiritual journey and healing emphasized in this book has far-reaching, even endless implications, limited only by one's own self-imposed limits. This is a book to be savored. It points the way back to Christ, back to our HOME; as do the scriptures, The Holy Bible, The Book of Mormon, The Doctrine and Covenants and the Pearl of Great Price. The Scriptures are THE ultimate SOURCE of LIGHT and TRUTH and I try to daily sup from those pages as I fervently pray to OUR HEAVENLY FATHER for HIS LIGHT. May we all choose to use these sources that will light our path and guide us and provide us with the peace we all need, as we dwell here on this earth.
As in the child's story, "Horton Hears a Who," Marianne Williamson presents the world with the bold idea that EACH individual on this earth has a mission and DOES matter! (Again, exactly what our Savior taught...) Unlike Dr. Seuss's contribution, though, Illuminata is not a work of fiction, nor is it intended to merely entertain. ( Now, one could argue that Dr. Seuss was just as serious about this topic, and I will not deny that possibility.) Actually, as one sincerely cogitates this literary work, it expands the mind and cognition, until we are led to the conclusion, ultimately, that our actions, our attitudes and our very thoughts alter the course of our earth's life and has a direct impact, for good or ill, on each individuals quality of living. Once amenable to this realization, can ANY of our interactions be the same, can the course of history remain the same? Ms. Williamson claims that whether we wish to acknowledge this vortex of power, light and truth; it has come, and is changing the world as we know it. While some are busily doing their part to prepare for this ultimate Renaissance, there are yet those "asleep" to their own, and the world's possibilities. In Marianne's introduction, she states: "A mass movement is afoot in the world today, spiritual in nature and radical in it's implications. After decades of declining influence on the affairs of the world, there is once again a widespread consideration of spiritual principles as an antidote to the pain of our times. Like flowers growing up through pieces of broken cement, signs of hope and faith appear everywhere. These signs reflect the light of transcendent force at the very center of things, present in our lives in a corrective and even miraculous manner, a light we can reach personally through internal work of devotional nature. We are experiencing now an alteration of collective consciousness, centered not in government or science or religion, per se. It is centered nowhere because it is present, at least, potentially, everywhere. It is the rising up of our true divine nature, a reassertion of God in the consciousness of modern man."
The author then implores the reader to "test" her theory, and become one among thousands of others which have found this portal to true "LIGHT" and its healing Love. This passage requires one to become truly religious, not to merely select membership in an organized religion. She states,"...self-actualized people are hard to manipulate, difficult to control. Genuine religion does not respect the world for it sees right through it. It's goal is to supplant the world with something much more beautiful." Abraham Lincoln was described as being, "so religious that he was beyond religion!" And that is where we must go----forever beyond the confines of the "world's view" of religion. We are at a juncture in History that may very well usher in the greatest enlightenment know to mankind since the world began. Will we do our part to facilitate this emergence? Before we can ever hope to be a positive influence, we must first realize this colossal shift is before us. The author uses the example of those alive during the Renaissance, and their, perhaps, unwitting impact upon all subsequent generations. She writes: "I doubt many people walking down the street turned to each other and said, " This is the Renaissance, don't you think?" "But, looking back, we're clear there was one."
Not only do I wholeheartedly agree with the author on so much of the content, I have witnessed this "shift" for myself and had entertained in my limited consciousness, these very thoughts! It is thrilling to read these familiar thoughts in book form---and with the adornment of superlative articulation! Is this not the time to prepare even more intensively as the Second Coming of our Savior must surely be so very near?
Eighteen years ago, as I embarked on the amazing adventure of Home-schooling, I was awestruck to encounter a massive ground-swelling of parents, Mothers in particular, that no longer were willing to accept the abdication of the past. We, and rightly so, truly are a force to be reckoned with and we will not blindly or blithely follow the past generation's lead. We were entrusted with these precious children, and we have taught them all they know to this point, we are confident we can and should continue to educate and inculcate in the them, the morality that is so sorely lacking now! Home-schooling was my first and most poignant encounter with this "religious" movement that now permeates all areas and disciplines of our world. It encompasses far more than the didactics of children. It is, as Ms. Williamson suggests, " a spiritual quickening; a celestial speed-up through which, although the darkness is getting darker, the light is getting lighter! We have reached a critical mass of spiritual yearning---despite worldly appearances. There is a mass curiosity and openness to spiritual ideas unprecedented in modern western culture. Things we thought were primitive beliefs turn out to be more sophisticated than we are! As our thoughts rise, the world rises. This is the resurrection of the human mind." This also is the resurrection of the family's true and essential role in society, the mother's crucial role. We once again see how vital and indispensable a mother's SELFLESSNESS and DAILY NURTURING of her children must be, we can not be so cavalier about these roles, if society is to endure, let alone excel.
I find that this is, indeed, an awesome time to be alive and nothing is, or ever will be more fulfilling than knowing we contributed to THIS spiritual renaissance; our existence or being, matters!
Yet, I am reminded of C.S. Lewis's masterpiece, "The Chronicles of Narnia" in book seven, "The Last Battle," chapter 13, which is entitled, "How the Dwarfs refused to be taken In," we find the Kings and Queens of Narnia and even Aslan Himself, trying to convince the dwarfs that they are in a paradisaical place with a bounty of sumptuous food and drink. Not only do the dwarfs disbelieve, but they can not "see" who is trying to help them. They respond by stating, "Well, at any rate, there's no Humbug here. We haven't let anyone take us in. The Dwarfs are for the Dwarfs!" Aslan states, "You see, they will not let us help them. They have chosen cunning instead of belief. Their prison is only in their own minds, yet they are in that prison; and so afraid of being taken in that they can not be taken out..." How often has the "world" chosen cunning over belief? How many of our fellow sojourners are refusing to be "taken in" by the message of hope, love and peace made possible through dedicated and sincere prayer to Our Savior, the author of all LIGHT?
Marianne concludes her work with prayers for a variety of occasions, rites of passage and beckons the reader to "Search for God!" That search is a lifestyle decision, she explains that prayer is the time we talk to God, meditation is the time to LISTEN for God's response. She further writes, "Meditation is a time of quiet when the mind is freed from it's attachments to the hysterical ravings of a world gone mad. Nothing is more important to the future of the world then, that millions of people begin daily prolonged meditation and prayer. Prayer is a conduit for miracles. Most of us have more faith in the power of AIDS to kill us than we have faith in GOD to heal us and make us whole. Prayer gives us access to a sweeter, more abundant life...to true and lasting inner peace."
I was so very grateful to a very dear friend who recommended this book to me. I have always trusted her judgment and in this work of art, I was not disappointed. I have always been a prayerful person. But, the attitudinal transformation endorsed by this author on the subjects of prayer, Light, Love and personal accountability were powerful. The Spiritual journey and healing emphasized in this book has far-reaching, even endless implications, limited only by one's own self-imposed limits. This is a book to be savored. It points the way back to Christ, back to our HOME; as do the scriptures, The Holy Bible, The Book of Mormon, The Doctrine and Covenants and the Pearl of Great Price. The Scriptures are THE ultimate SOURCE of LIGHT and TRUTH and I try to daily sup from those pages as I fervently pray to OUR HEAVENLY FATHER for HIS LIGHT. May we all choose to use these sources that will light our path and guide us and provide us with the peace we all need, as we dwell here on this earth.
Friday, April 18, 2008
On Home-Schooling
I remember just after my first baby was born, I began thinking what kind of educational experience would she have. I was so very dissatisfied with the public schools, and yet, I did not know if we could afford a private school. Finally, I decided that even though we were not Catholic, I would look into having my daughter attend a Catholic school. I called to get information pertinent to enrolling Bonnie. As I began to ask a myriad of questions, the assistant on the line asked for my daughter's birth date. I believe she was just a few months old at this point---so I said she was born in March of this year. (1982) The assistant chuckled and then kindly requested I call back in 4-5 years! I was saddened. I thought, "This is such a huge part of a child's life! Why would they not want to encourage parents to carefully consider these options very early on?"
I did not enroll my daughter in a private or parochial school. Rather, she began attending the local public school. My husband, at that time, was continuing his education at the University of Michigan Dental School. I decided that I would become very involved in the school. This was no easy task, as by this time, I had three little ones with another baby on the way. But, I accepted the job of being a home-room mom for her Kindergarten year. Then as she entered first grade, I became the PTO secretary. I went to all the meetings and was as involved as I could be. I watched first hand all the politics and drama that is the public school system. I was amazed! This was an entirely new world. Then, one month, the agenda included the discussion of the school's sex education program. I had been very upset that they were trying to establish the new curriculum and begin teaching this topic to the Kindergartners! I asked why they thought it necessary to approach this topic so early in the children's lives---in a public setting. I had opted to have my daughter excluded from the unit. But, when I went to bring her home during the time the material was presented to all the other students, the teacher informed me that Bonnie would hear everything I was trying to protect her from----out on the playground the next day---and that it would likely be total misinformation as the children just were too young to actually relate what they had learned accurately! I was dumbfounded! I then asked if the children were too young to understand what was being taught---why then were they teaching this to them???? I was incensed that though they told the parents they had the choice of whether or not their children were exposed to the curriculum, once a parent actually tried to exert this choice, they were informed that they really did not have a choice.
More disheartening than that, was the fact that as I attended the PTO meeting regarding the sex-education curriculum, there were only 5-6 parents present! And, of that tiny group, one mother said, "Can't you just teach the kids everything there is to know about sex, so I will not have to?" I was blown away! I thought, these are the parents that "care"----in that at least they had taken the time to attend this meeting, but, to me, they really did NOT care about the type of MORAL education their children received. I was so very discouraged! I did attend the District level meeting on this issue, because I was so very concerned with the attitudes the parents had in our community. An OB/GYN physician was in attendance as well. He became my hero, as he told the teachers, administrators and parents that the only thing the school needed to do was to tell the children that those parts of their bodies that were covered by underwear, should always be treated as sacred and that the children should NEVER ALLOW ANYONE to touch them in those places. I just wanted to stand up and give him a standing ovation! That was exactly my opinion. The schools were NOT to usurp the parent's role in providing the moral training parents are obligated and responsible to provide to their children!
I eventually stumbled upon the exciting home-schooling movement. I say "stumbled" but in all reality, I was led to those in my church that were home-schooling! It was a huge blessing from the Lord for me and my children. That summer, I began with gusto to keep my own children home and educate them at home. That was the very best choice I have ever made. In contrast, as I met with area home-schooling parents, I saw a devotion and true love and concern for their children's moral, spiritual, intellectual and social training. These brave and dedicated families were devoted to raising their children to believe in God and Goodness in a seemingly God-less society. While involved with the public school system in Ann Arbor Michigan, I felt so hopeless and helpless about the direction society was headed. In stark contrast, I was encouraged, inspired, hopeful and filled with joy as I saw a growing movement of mothers and fathers taking their responsibility to raise up their children to the LORD---from all denominations---eager to spend all the time, energy and love that is necessary to rear a noble generation.
I have such a strong testimony that there is a GOD, that His SON, Jesus Christ, is in fact our Savior and Redeemer and that they are so very involved and interested in each of our lives. We are the ones that determine exclusively, how much they are able to be involved in our lives. I have just as strong a testimony that home-schooling is the very best way to raise our children in this worsening climate of moral degradation and corruption. If any one out there has ever thought about home-schooling, but just was too afraid to try, or are unsure as to how to go about it, please email me and I will happily provide all kinds of resources and encouragement! Believe me, if I could do so, anyone can. I will tell you that my children have excelled in College BECAUSE they were home-schooled. My children have been able to attend College with full ride scholarships! There is a way for anyone who desires to home-school, to do so and to provide the children we are blessed with, the best possible early life, moral education, and most importantly, the quality and quantity of our time while we have them in our homes. The children are in our homes for such a brief time. Looking back, I am so very grateful I chose to home-school. I have so many precious memories with my children. I have no regrets because I did spend all the time I could loving and teaching them. And, I was able to impart, on a daily basis, my values and beliefs.
As some of my children are now adults, it is far easier for me to accept their choices and to have a peace about those values they choose to make their own since I know I have truly done all I could to teach them all I could! IF any of you are unsure as to whether or not home-schooling is right for your family, please pray for guidance! It is so very worth each and every sacrifice! I am so very grateful Heavenly Father provided me the information exactly when I needed it for my children. May God bless all you young mothers and fathers with the courage, the strength and the commitment to do your very best with these precious children---while they are in your home. Believe me, the time goes far too quickly! I have only 7 left at home! With one daughter leaving to be on her own this summer! God bless you all and do not hesitate to email me if you have any questions at all! Kim
I did not enroll my daughter in a private or parochial school. Rather, she began attending the local public school. My husband, at that time, was continuing his education at the University of Michigan Dental School. I decided that I would become very involved in the school. This was no easy task, as by this time, I had three little ones with another baby on the way. But, I accepted the job of being a home-room mom for her Kindergarten year. Then as she entered first grade, I became the PTO secretary. I went to all the meetings and was as involved as I could be. I watched first hand all the politics and drama that is the public school system. I was amazed! This was an entirely new world. Then, one month, the agenda included the discussion of the school's sex education program. I had been very upset that they were trying to establish the new curriculum and begin teaching this topic to the Kindergartners! I asked why they thought it necessary to approach this topic so early in the children's lives---in a public setting. I had opted to have my daughter excluded from the unit. But, when I went to bring her home during the time the material was presented to all the other students, the teacher informed me that Bonnie would hear everything I was trying to protect her from----out on the playground the next day---and that it would likely be total misinformation as the children just were too young to actually relate what they had learned accurately! I was dumbfounded! I then asked if the children were too young to understand what was being taught---why then were they teaching this to them???? I was incensed that though they told the parents they had the choice of whether or not their children were exposed to the curriculum, once a parent actually tried to exert this choice, they were informed that they really did not have a choice.
More disheartening than that, was the fact that as I attended the PTO meeting regarding the sex-education curriculum, there were only 5-6 parents present! And, of that tiny group, one mother said, "Can't you just teach the kids everything there is to know about sex, so I will not have to?" I was blown away! I thought, these are the parents that "care"----in that at least they had taken the time to attend this meeting, but, to me, they really did NOT care about the type of MORAL education their children received. I was so very discouraged! I did attend the District level meeting on this issue, because I was so very concerned with the attitudes the parents had in our community. An OB/GYN physician was in attendance as well. He became my hero, as he told the teachers, administrators and parents that the only thing the school needed to do was to tell the children that those parts of their bodies that were covered by underwear, should always be treated as sacred and that the children should NEVER ALLOW ANYONE to touch them in those places. I just wanted to stand up and give him a standing ovation! That was exactly my opinion. The schools were NOT to usurp the parent's role in providing the moral training parents are obligated and responsible to provide to their children!
I eventually stumbled upon the exciting home-schooling movement. I say "stumbled" but in all reality, I was led to those in my church that were home-schooling! It was a huge blessing from the Lord for me and my children. That summer, I began with gusto to keep my own children home and educate them at home. That was the very best choice I have ever made. In contrast, as I met with area home-schooling parents, I saw a devotion and true love and concern for their children's moral, spiritual, intellectual and social training. These brave and dedicated families were devoted to raising their children to believe in God and Goodness in a seemingly God-less society. While involved with the public school system in Ann Arbor Michigan, I felt so hopeless and helpless about the direction society was headed. In stark contrast, I was encouraged, inspired, hopeful and filled with joy as I saw a growing movement of mothers and fathers taking their responsibility to raise up their children to the LORD---from all denominations---eager to spend all the time, energy and love that is necessary to rear a noble generation.
I have such a strong testimony that there is a GOD, that His SON, Jesus Christ, is in fact our Savior and Redeemer and that they are so very involved and interested in each of our lives. We are the ones that determine exclusively, how much they are able to be involved in our lives. I have just as strong a testimony that home-schooling is the very best way to raise our children in this worsening climate of moral degradation and corruption. If any one out there has ever thought about home-schooling, but just was too afraid to try, or are unsure as to how to go about it, please email me and I will happily provide all kinds of resources and encouragement! Believe me, if I could do so, anyone can. I will tell you that my children have excelled in College BECAUSE they were home-schooled. My children have been able to attend College with full ride scholarships! There is a way for anyone who desires to home-school, to do so and to provide the children we are blessed with, the best possible early life, moral education, and most importantly, the quality and quantity of our time while we have them in our homes. The children are in our homes for such a brief time. Looking back, I am so very grateful I chose to home-school. I have so many precious memories with my children. I have no regrets because I did spend all the time I could loving and teaching them. And, I was able to impart, on a daily basis, my values and beliefs.
As some of my children are now adults, it is far easier for me to accept their choices and to have a peace about those values they choose to make their own since I know I have truly done all I could to teach them all I could! IF any of you are unsure as to whether or not home-schooling is right for your family, please pray for guidance! It is so very worth each and every sacrifice! I am so very grateful Heavenly Father provided me the information exactly when I needed it for my children. May God bless all you young mothers and fathers with the courage, the strength and the commitment to do your very best with these precious children---while they are in your home. Believe me, the time goes far too quickly! I have only 7 left at home! With one daughter leaving to be on her own this summer! God bless you all and do not hesitate to email me if you have any questions at all! Kim
Thursday, February 21, 2008
A Teaching Moment
My daughter, Carrie, just recently turned eighteen. With that birthday, she has assumed that certain family rules no longer applied---such as her curfew. We have a standing rule that on week-nights, those that are of dating age, ie. 16 years old, must go on group dates and return at 10 pm. On week-ends, they still must go with a group of friends and return by 11 pm.
Carrie has been very responsible and dependable. She has made certain that she returns BEFORE curfew! So, when she approached me and asked if her curfew, now that she was 18, could be extended to midnight. I was hesitant, but, since she has always been so very good about obeying the rules, and she has proven to be so very trustworthy, I consented.
Imagine my surprise when one of her first nights out with her new curfew, she did not return at midnight! I received no call, and I began to feel more alarm as the time passed. The other factor, which caused me no small alarm, was this date was a SINGLE date with a young man I did not know! One o'clock rolled by, no Carrie, then one-thirty! I was feeling the panic rise, and began praying more fervently. Finally, at two o'clock in the morning, Carrie quietly slipped in. I waited and listened. I was in no condition to confront her at that moment. So, when I realized she was home safe and without injury----I knew if something negative or bad had happened, she would have sought me out. I calmed down and finally drifted off to sleep.
The next day, Carrie came home during her school day for lunch. As she came close to me, I said to her, "Hey, aren't I supposed to be grounding you or something? I mean, 2 o'clock is quite a bit different from 12 midnight! Or were you confused about what time your curfew now is?" She sat down beside me and looked totally bewildered and said, "You were awake when I came in?" I then explained all the reasons I would NOT have been able to sleep while she was out so late by herself with a young man I DID NOT know! She laughed and said, "Oh, Mom, I am so sorry! I would have called, but I thought you would be sleeping!" She went on to explain all the reasons she was late and that she promised it would never happen again! I hugged her and thanked her for extending that promise. I told her that a Mom just can not have such a beautiful daughter and NOT be worried and concerned when she was gone!
It was a sweet exchange, and a memory that I will always cherish. I have found that waiting for the right moment, and using gentle humor has done more to strengthen the bonds of love between my children and myself than any lecture ever could. And, the added bonus: My children seek me out for counsel, comfort, companionship, encouragement and advice. It is such a joy to have them come to me! I just pray daily that when they come, I will know what to say and how to say it, and if they do not choose to come to me, that I will know how to gently let them know I am always there if they should want to talk -- about anything.
Carrie has been very responsible and dependable. She has made certain that she returns BEFORE curfew! So, when she approached me and asked if her curfew, now that she was 18, could be extended to midnight. I was hesitant, but, since she has always been so very good about obeying the rules, and she has proven to be so very trustworthy, I consented.
Imagine my surprise when one of her first nights out with her new curfew, she did not return at midnight! I received no call, and I began to feel more alarm as the time passed. The other factor, which caused me no small alarm, was this date was a SINGLE date with a young man I did not know! One o'clock rolled by, no Carrie, then one-thirty! I was feeling the panic rise, and began praying more fervently. Finally, at two o'clock in the morning, Carrie quietly slipped in. I waited and listened. I was in no condition to confront her at that moment. So, when I realized she was home safe and without injury----I knew if something negative or bad had happened, she would have sought me out. I calmed down and finally drifted off to sleep.
The next day, Carrie came home during her school day for lunch. As she came close to me, I said to her, "Hey, aren't I supposed to be grounding you or something? I mean, 2 o'clock is quite a bit different from 12 midnight! Or were you confused about what time your curfew now is?" She sat down beside me and looked totally bewildered and said, "You were awake when I came in?" I then explained all the reasons I would NOT have been able to sleep while she was out so late by herself with a young man I DID NOT know! She laughed and said, "Oh, Mom, I am so sorry! I would have called, but I thought you would be sleeping!" She went on to explain all the reasons she was late and that she promised it would never happen again! I hugged her and thanked her for extending that promise. I told her that a Mom just can not have such a beautiful daughter and NOT be worried and concerned when she was gone!
It was a sweet exchange, and a memory that I will always cherish. I have found that waiting for the right moment, and using gentle humor has done more to strengthen the bonds of love between my children and myself than any lecture ever could. And, the added bonus: My children seek me out for counsel, comfort, companionship, encouragement and advice. It is such a joy to have them come to me! I just pray daily that when they come, I will know what to say and how to say it, and if they do not choose to come to me, that I will know how to gently let them know I am always there if they should want to talk -- about anything.
Monday, February 18, 2008
A Lesson in Humility
I was probably 16. My father was in the Branch Presidency and our Sunday School class had just had a new teacher called to teach us. Being teenagers, I am sure it was a daunting task for anyone. Sister Clinard was likely in her 40's, but to me at that time, she seemed ancient. It was clear she was very nervous that first day she taught our Sunday School class. She had her face in the manual the entire class time, and it was evident that she thought reading the lesson straight from the manual was sufficient.
When the next week rolled around, it was clear the rest of the class was not going to cut her any slack! She was not able to remove her eyes from the manual until she gave us a personal experience about the Word of Wisdom. She divulged to the class that she had given into peer pressure at work and began drinking coffee. It seemed innocent at first, she explained, but now she was totally addicted and cautioned us NOT to make the same mistake in our lives!
I do not remember the reaction of most of the class. I am sure they were as rowdy as usual! But, my sister and I were polite and well behaved. WE could not afford to be otherwise! If our Dad ever found out that we had been rude, talkative or disrespectful in any way, we would incur his wrath! So, Stace and I never ever made any noise. By this time in my life, it was no longer disappointing my parents that kept me in line. I actually knew the gospel was true, and I hungered and thirsted for any and all information taught at church. I loved feeling the spirit and that is best done while being reverent. Stace, well, she was always as close to perfect as one can get without being translated! And, it was very, very difficult being her sister! No matter how hard I tried to behave, I could NEVER measure up to Stace's standard of good! Believe me, I had really tried! Anyway, though I showed no outward signs of disrespect, in my heart I began to judge and think less of our sweet teacher.
I began to think of a way I could influence a change in teachers. I approached my dad, since he was in the Branch Presidency and I said, "Dad, I know that in the church, the emphasis is on the youth, right? I mean, the church leaders want the youth to have the very best of experiences as they are forming their testimonies, right? He agreed! Then, I quickly added, "Dad, did you know that the Sunday School teacher that was just called to teach our class admitted she has a word of wisdom problem to us ALL? And, did you also know that she does not come to class prepared? But, she just reads the lesson straight from the lesson manual or from the Ensign? Don't you think that there should be something done about that??
I was actually very smug! I was sure I had presented a very strong case and soon we would be given a much more suitable teacher! One that I could actually respect! How little I knew! And, how very grateful I was for the wisdom my father shared with me during this major teaching moment! Dad asked me this, "Kim, do you think that the teacher is the only one responsible for making the lesson a learning experience? That threw me! What did Dad mean by that? I said, "Well, I don't know! What do you mean?"
He went on to explain that everyone in the church was at different stages of developing their own testimonies. He said that as members of a class, we should never be content to just sit back and be basically bystanders to the educational process! We had an obligation to do several things.
1. We should pray for the teacher that she or he would be able to give the lesson they desired in the way they had planned and prepared.
2. We had the obligation to participate and assist the teacher in feeling that her students were interested in what she had to say and what she had studied.
3. As students, we should never give in to the temptation to be critical or think that preparation had not been done. Everyone has a different teaching style and many are basically frightened!
So, if they buried their head in the book, it might NOT be an indication of a lack of preparation, but could in fact be fear!
We needed to make certain that we never ever gave a teacher reason to fear, and to be as supportive and kind, and yes, truly grateful for the time and effort they put in to provide instruction for us. Dad then issued me a challenge. He asked me to try for the next few weeks to look for the positive, to seek to learn one new thing from my teacher and to pray for the teacher and for myself so that both would be edified! He told me that both the teacher and the student had an obligation to make each lesson a success!
My eyes were wide open! I had NEVER even thought I had a role in the student-teacher relationship! I decided to take my father's challenge. I would like to say it was because I had an instant change of heart and outpouring of maturity! But, my memory is that I decided I would give it a try and in a few weeks, I could tell my dad I had tried, it did not work and so, could he please ask for a new teacher for us.
What happened was this: I did pray for her and for myself. I did seek to make her experience positive and to express my gratitude for her preparation. I did try to learn something new each week. Time went by, I grew to truly love and adore Sister Clinard. Gradually, she no longer read the entire lesson. She became more at ease, and the entire class embraced her. She invited the entire class over to her home for a Saturday lunch and for Snowmobile riding---an activity I have never forgotten, though it has been more than three decades ago . And, when she was finally released as our teacher, I was probably the saddest to see her go.
How grateful I am that I had a very wise father teach me a vital lesson at that point in my life. It is a lesson I have never ever forgotten and it has served me well all my life. I have loved each and every teacher, because I was given the tools to become the best student and the biggest fan of each new teacher I was blessed to have serve me!
When the next week rolled around, it was clear the rest of the class was not going to cut her any slack! She was not able to remove her eyes from the manual until she gave us a personal experience about the Word of Wisdom. She divulged to the class that she had given into peer pressure at work and began drinking coffee. It seemed innocent at first, she explained, but now she was totally addicted and cautioned us NOT to make the same mistake in our lives!
I do not remember the reaction of most of the class. I am sure they were as rowdy as usual! But, my sister and I were polite and well behaved. WE could not afford to be otherwise! If our Dad ever found out that we had been rude, talkative or disrespectful in any way, we would incur his wrath! So, Stace and I never ever made any noise. By this time in my life, it was no longer disappointing my parents that kept me in line. I actually knew the gospel was true, and I hungered and thirsted for any and all information taught at church. I loved feeling the spirit and that is best done while being reverent. Stace, well, she was always as close to perfect as one can get without being translated! And, it was very, very difficult being her sister! No matter how hard I tried to behave, I could NEVER measure up to Stace's standard of good! Believe me, I had really tried! Anyway, though I showed no outward signs of disrespect, in my heart I began to judge and think less of our sweet teacher.
I began to think of a way I could influence a change in teachers. I approached my dad, since he was in the Branch Presidency and I said, "Dad, I know that in the church, the emphasis is on the youth, right? I mean, the church leaders want the youth to have the very best of experiences as they are forming their testimonies, right? He agreed! Then, I quickly added, "Dad, did you know that the Sunday School teacher that was just called to teach our class admitted she has a word of wisdom problem to us ALL? And, did you also know that she does not come to class prepared? But, she just reads the lesson straight from the lesson manual or from the Ensign? Don't you think that there should be something done about that??
I was actually very smug! I was sure I had presented a very strong case and soon we would be given a much more suitable teacher! One that I could actually respect! How little I knew! And, how very grateful I was for the wisdom my father shared with me during this major teaching moment! Dad asked me this, "Kim, do you think that the teacher is the only one responsible for making the lesson a learning experience? That threw me! What did Dad mean by that? I said, "Well, I don't know! What do you mean?"
He went on to explain that everyone in the church was at different stages of developing their own testimonies. He said that as members of a class, we should never be content to just sit back and be basically bystanders to the educational process! We had an obligation to do several things.
1. We should pray for the teacher that she or he would be able to give the lesson they desired in the way they had planned and prepared.
2. We had the obligation to participate and assist the teacher in feeling that her students were interested in what she had to say and what she had studied.
3. As students, we should never give in to the temptation to be critical or think that preparation had not been done. Everyone has a different teaching style and many are basically frightened!
So, if they buried their head in the book, it might NOT be an indication of a lack of preparation, but could in fact be fear!
We needed to make certain that we never ever gave a teacher reason to fear, and to be as supportive and kind, and yes, truly grateful for the time and effort they put in to provide instruction for us. Dad then issued me a challenge. He asked me to try for the next few weeks to look for the positive, to seek to learn one new thing from my teacher and to pray for the teacher and for myself so that both would be edified! He told me that both the teacher and the student had an obligation to make each lesson a success!
My eyes were wide open! I had NEVER even thought I had a role in the student-teacher relationship! I decided to take my father's challenge. I would like to say it was because I had an instant change of heart and outpouring of maturity! But, my memory is that I decided I would give it a try and in a few weeks, I could tell my dad I had tried, it did not work and so, could he please ask for a new teacher for us.
What happened was this: I did pray for her and for myself. I did seek to make her experience positive and to express my gratitude for her preparation. I did try to learn something new each week. Time went by, I grew to truly love and adore Sister Clinard. Gradually, she no longer read the entire lesson. She became more at ease, and the entire class embraced her. She invited the entire class over to her home for a Saturday lunch and for Snowmobile riding---an activity I have never forgotten, though it has been more than three decades ago . And, when she was finally released as our teacher, I was probably the saddest to see her go.
How grateful I am that I had a very wise father teach me a vital lesson at that point in my life. It is a lesson I have never ever forgotten and it has served me well all my life. I have loved each and every teacher, because I was given the tools to become the best student and the biggest fan of each new teacher I was blessed to have serve me!
Friday, February 15, 2008
Answers to Prayers
Answers to Prayers by Kim Kerby Hildebrandt
Many years ago, I was sitting in a Fast and Testimony meeting in which an individual who had severely transgressed, spoke of their repentance. This person had had a feeling of overwhelming love from the Savior---so real in fact, that they felt as if the Savior were really holding and embracing them physically. I was troubled by this. I had never experienced a feeling of such love from my Savior or my Father in Heaven. I began to feel a bit hurt that I had never been dealt with in this manner. I felt a tinge of envy and self-pity. Then I prayed. I asked, (childishly, I admit) "Why have I not had these feelings or experiences?" I prayed to feel the same love, to feel the same affection, and to know as assuredly that I was loved. The answer did not see m to come. I felt no dramatic overtures. I determined that it was most likely due to the fact I just had not paid the price.
So, for almost a year, I increased my prayers, my scripture study and my temple attendance. I would turn off the radio and just use any time I was driving to pray fervently to my Heavenly Father. BUT nothing had happened! I did not have that tangible hug from My Father or the Savior! My time was, granted, very limited as I was the mother of six young children, all under the age of ten, and I was home schooling at this point.
Well, some months later my parents were moving to Montana from Iowa. They were unable to move all of their furniture. So, they asked if I was interested in flying to Iowa in order to drive a U-Haul truck full of furniture back to Ypsilanti Michigan. My husband and I had just moved into our first home, and we did not have much furniture. So, when I was provided an opportunity to go to Iowa alone, I decided that I would use that time to continue, in earnest, my quest for that hug as well as gain the much needed furniture!
I had only been allowed a certain number of miles to go from Iowa to Michigan by the rental truck company. I had forgotten to add the detour to the Chicago Temple into the allotted mileage with the U-Haul! I also had very limited funds for gas, food and none for lodging. Yet, it had been some time since I had been able to attend the temple. I decided that though it would be a leap of faith, I would chance it. I took the detour and headed for the temple. I prayed that the detour to the Chicago Temple would not incur too high a penalty in terms of additional mileage and gas. I also prayed that I might be able to afford the detour physically as well as financially, since it would require that I drive through the night to return the truck on time.
I got to the Temple early in the evening. I entered the Temple and at the entrance to greet me, was a former Bishop and his wife! I had not been in their area for over 6 years! It was such a sweet and comforting reunion! They called me by name, remembered me and hugged me and led me further inside. They asked about my family, was I there alone, had I eaten, did I have a place to stay the night? They seemed to want to meet my every need. They assisted me in obtaining my temple clothing, and in all ways ministered gently and lovingly to me. I was moved to tears! This kindness was very much like them, albeit even more intense. Then, when I told them I had not yet eaten, they insisted upon buying me dinner in the cafeteria, they were just going to dinner themselves they said. I told them I did not need lodging, as I just planned on driving straight through. The rest of the evening, they kept asking me to change my mind and just stay with them overnight! They were so solicitous and kind.
I was blessed to be able to attend two sessions and to spend more time in the Celestial Room than I ever had previously. There, I put forth my long-standing petition. But, still I had not had the experience I had longed for ---- the Savior to hold me in a tangible way. I bade farewell to the Cardon's and they hugged me tight and through my tears, I told them how much I loved them, and how grateful I was to be able to see them again---they were now serving a temple mission! I stopped to get some gas near 11 pm.
Just before starting on the long 8 hour trip home from there, I broke down and began to weep. I cried out in my heart and said, "Heavenly Father, why? What more do I have to do? Of all places, I would have thought I would have had my prayers answered in thy Temple!" And then, a voice in my mind asked this, " What more could I have done for you KIM?" My mind instantly recalled all that the Cardon's had done for me while in the Temple. And, my tears turned to tears of shame. I had had His love manifested in a very real and physical way. Yet, I had overlooked it. I had been looking beyond the mark. I wondered what else my kind and loving Father had done to show His love to me and I had ignored or refused to see it! I had been blessed beyond measure, but had not even accepted that amazing gift for what it was! I reflected back on everything that the Cardons had done and even tried to do for me, most of which I would not accept! I bowed my head in shame and renewed gratitude. I thanked HIM for allowing me to have such a beautiful experience and begged for forgiveness for not seeing it for what it truly was. My prayers had been answered so completely and tenderly!
I learned many valuable lessons that day. 1.) The Lord does care and loves us ALL! One indication of that love is His invitation and admonition to pray!2.) The Lord does meet our needs and cares for us in many different ways. 3.) We can be the means of answering the prayers of others. We can be instruments in the hands of our Heavenly Father. Others can feel His love through our showing love to others.4.) Heavenly Father does answer our Prayers! If we are not humble and receptive, if we do not have the spirit of gratitude, we can overlook the answers and miss the joy and love intended for us.
I returned home safely, early in the morning the next day. We unloaded the truck, and I returned it to the U-haul dealer. I had zero cash left, it took my last penny to fill the tank, but, I had enough. And, just as I pulled into the U-Haul place, the odometer turned to the exact number of miles I had been allowed and I was able to return the truck on time! I owed no additional money! That was a miracle---yet another manifestation of the love and caring of Our Heavenly Father for me.
But the story does not end there. About 4 months later, I was again able to go back to the Chicago Temple. I again, was able to see the Cardons. But, as I ran up to hug and kiss them, it was very clear that they did NOT remember me! It was awkward and a bit embarrassing! I then disclosed my name and how we had known each other years ago. Later, I mentioned this experience to my Mother. She commented, "Oh, that must have hurt your feelings or was at least disappointing, huh? I said, "NO, not at all. You see, to me it is just a further witness that those months earlier, it was my Heavenly Parents answering my prayers and welcoming me home. Now, I know the ministering was not just because I had been remembered by the Cardon's! But, I am so very grateful they were receptive to His promptings and were instrumental in bringing to me such a powerful experience.
I am trying to become more like them, and of course, my Savior, in showing love to my brothers and sisters so they too can feel Heavenly Father's love for them. I testify that what I have related is true. I consider this a sacred experience and cherish its memory. I am inexpressibly grateful to my Heavenly Father for prayer. I have a sure knowledge that He is attentive. He hears and answers prayers. It is precious, sweet and humbling to know that He, our Father, yearns to hear from us---all of us! That knowledge gives self-esteem as nothing else can. It is awe inspiring to know that our Creator, our Eternal Father, the ONE to whom all things are possible, the ONE whose accomplishments are endless and perfect, a Supreme Being---is willing, and even wishes, to commune with me, with each of us!
Now I shall never be granted audience with a King or President of any nation. Nor, of even more value to me, do I ever expect to meet personally and speak heart to heart with our Beloved Prophet. Yet, ONE greater than any man that has ever lived, desires to give me audience, any time, any place and for as long as I wish. That is the awesome nature of prayer. I can communicate openly with Deity, (at Heavenly Father's request!) anytime I choose! That to me, is humbling and sobering. His invitation is to us all! It means we all have great worth.
Many years ago, I was sitting in a Fast and Testimony meeting in which an individual who had severely transgressed, spoke of their repentance. This person had had a feeling of overwhelming love from the Savior---so real in fact, that they felt as if the Savior were really holding and embracing them physically. I was troubled by this. I had never experienced a feeling of such love from my Savior or my Father in Heaven. I began to feel a bit hurt that I had never been dealt with in this manner. I felt a tinge of envy and self-pity. Then I prayed. I asked, (childishly, I admit) "Why have I not had these feelings or experiences?" I prayed to feel the same love, to feel the same affection, and to know as assuredly that I was loved. The answer did not see m to come. I felt no dramatic overtures. I determined that it was most likely due to the fact I just had not paid the price.
So, for almost a year, I increased my prayers, my scripture study and my temple attendance. I would turn off the radio and just use any time I was driving to pray fervently to my Heavenly Father. BUT nothing had happened! I did not have that tangible hug from My Father or the Savior! My time was, granted, very limited as I was the mother of six young children, all under the age of ten, and I was home schooling at this point.
Well, some months later my parents were moving to Montana from Iowa. They were unable to move all of their furniture. So, they asked if I was interested in flying to Iowa in order to drive a U-Haul truck full of furniture back to Ypsilanti Michigan. My husband and I had just moved into our first home, and we did not have much furniture. So, when I was provided an opportunity to go to Iowa alone, I decided that I would use that time to continue, in earnest, my quest for that hug as well as gain the much needed furniture!
I had only been allowed a certain number of miles to go from Iowa to Michigan by the rental truck company. I had forgotten to add the detour to the Chicago Temple into the allotted mileage with the U-Haul! I also had very limited funds for gas, food and none for lodging. Yet, it had been some time since I had been able to attend the temple. I decided that though it would be a leap of faith, I would chance it. I took the detour and headed for the temple. I prayed that the detour to the Chicago Temple would not incur too high a penalty in terms of additional mileage and gas. I also prayed that I might be able to afford the detour physically as well as financially, since it would require that I drive through the night to return the truck on time.
I got to the Temple early in the evening. I entered the Temple and at the entrance to greet me, was a former Bishop and his wife! I had not been in their area for over 6 years! It was such a sweet and comforting reunion! They called me by name, remembered me and hugged me and led me further inside. They asked about my family, was I there alone, had I eaten, did I have a place to stay the night? They seemed to want to meet my every need. They assisted me in obtaining my temple clothing, and in all ways ministered gently and lovingly to me. I was moved to tears! This kindness was very much like them, albeit even more intense. Then, when I told them I had not yet eaten, they insisted upon buying me dinner in the cafeteria, they were just going to dinner themselves they said. I told them I did not need lodging, as I just planned on driving straight through. The rest of the evening, they kept asking me to change my mind and just stay with them overnight! They were so solicitous and kind.
I was blessed to be able to attend two sessions and to spend more time in the Celestial Room than I ever had previously. There, I put forth my long-standing petition. But, still I had not had the experience I had longed for ---- the Savior to hold me in a tangible way. I bade farewell to the Cardon's and they hugged me tight and through my tears, I told them how much I loved them, and how grateful I was to be able to see them again---they were now serving a temple mission! I stopped to get some gas near 11 pm.
Just before starting on the long 8 hour trip home from there, I broke down and began to weep. I cried out in my heart and said, "Heavenly Father, why? What more do I have to do? Of all places, I would have thought I would have had my prayers answered in thy Temple!" And then, a voice in my mind asked this, " What more could I have done for you KIM?" My mind instantly recalled all that the Cardon's had done for me while in the Temple. And, my tears turned to tears of shame. I had had His love manifested in a very real and physical way. Yet, I had overlooked it. I had been looking beyond the mark. I wondered what else my kind and loving Father had done to show His love to me and I had ignored or refused to see it! I had been blessed beyond measure, but had not even accepted that amazing gift for what it was! I reflected back on everything that the Cardons had done and even tried to do for me, most of which I would not accept! I bowed my head in shame and renewed gratitude. I thanked HIM for allowing me to have such a beautiful experience and begged for forgiveness for not seeing it for what it truly was. My prayers had been answered so completely and tenderly!
I learned many valuable lessons that day. 1.) The Lord does care and loves us ALL! One indication of that love is His invitation and admonition to pray!2.) The Lord does meet our needs and cares for us in many different ways. 3.) We can be the means of answering the prayers of others. We can be instruments in the hands of our Heavenly Father. Others can feel His love through our showing love to others.4.) Heavenly Father does answer our Prayers! If we are not humble and receptive, if we do not have the spirit of gratitude, we can overlook the answers and miss the joy and love intended for us.
I returned home safely, early in the morning the next day. We unloaded the truck, and I returned it to the U-haul dealer. I had zero cash left, it took my last penny to fill the tank, but, I had enough. And, just as I pulled into the U-Haul place, the odometer turned to the exact number of miles I had been allowed and I was able to return the truck on time! I owed no additional money! That was a miracle---yet another manifestation of the love and caring of Our Heavenly Father for me.
But the story does not end there. About 4 months later, I was again able to go back to the Chicago Temple. I again, was able to see the Cardons. But, as I ran up to hug and kiss them, it was very clear that they did NOT remember me! It was awkward and a bit embarrassing! I then disclosed my name and how we had known each other years ago. Later, I mentioned this experience to my Mother. She commented, "Oh, that must have hurt your feelings or was at least disappointing, huh? I said, "NO, not at all. You see, to me it is just a further witness that those months earlier, it was my Heavenly Parents answering my prayers and welcoming me home. Now, I know the ministering was not just because I had been remembered by the Cardon's! But, I am so very grateful they were receptive to His promptings and were instrumental in bringing to me such a powerful experience.
I am trying to become more like them, and of course, my Savior, in showing love to my brothers and sisters so they too can feel Heavenly Father's love for them. I testify that what I have related is true. I consider this a sacred experience and cherish its memory. I am inexpressibly grateful to my Heavenly Father for prayer. I have a sure knowledge that He is attentive. He hears and answers prayers. It is precious, sweet and humbling to know that He, our Father, yearns to hear from us---all of us! That knowledge gives self-esteem as nothing else can. It is awe inspiring to know that our Creator, our Eternal Father, the ONE to whom all things are possible, the ONE whose accomplishments are endless and perfect, a Supreme Being---is willing, and even wishes, to commune with me, with each of us!
Now I shall never be granted audience with a King or President of any nation. Nor, of even more value to me, do I ever expect to meet personally and speak heart to heart with our Beloved Prophet. Yet, ONE greater than any man that has ever lived, desires to give me audience, any time, any place and for as long as I wish. That is the awesome nature of prayer. I can communicate openly with Deity, (at Heavenly Father's request!) anytime I choose! That to me, is humbling and sobering. His invitation is to us all! It means we all have great worth.
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